sometimes i am surprised

Today in EBP i put alot of feeling out there! I figure since thats what the presentations are about and they want them to be good i should ask some questions and even put some senerios out there for them. Most of the time i am ridiculed by the majority of the class, but today i was surprised to see a nice message on my MSn from one of my class mates

"Not that this may be all that inspirational to you but I think that you've really put a lot of your personal feelings out there in EBP class and I think that you have an outstanding character and put up with a lot of shit from people in the class".

and the great thing was this person is such an understanding person who has been through alot. I think she is an inspiriation to me. I remember last year i did a project with her and we touched on some deep subjects. I got to see inside her mind and how she delt with her situations. She is now a mother of two beautiful children and i know they will grow up to be stronge just like her!

On another note i am so glad that class is over.

Alot of the people in that class have no voice or perspectives on any of the topics. I know everyone goes through something in their life thats hard, but it seems most people don't want to share it. I like being an open person, i feel that i have nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone makes mistakes including me so if people know about mine im not going to run and hide.

Anyway enough of these breaks i need to get back to the studying.

coffee count: I have had 4 cups so far and just made some more coffee. lets getter done!

...tick tock, and it does get louder

Its 4:49 am, i have played like 9 billion games of backgammon and watched about 7 episodes of Gilmore Girls and yet my mind is a total buzz. I think i am just overwhelmed at the fact that i have finally finished that stupid portfolio. I didn't even know how much weight it was putting on me.

And while my mind is a buzz, my cat is, shall we say pretty much the same. He's been climbing all over my furniture. I could here him as i was attempting to fall asleep for the 3rd time this evening. Now he is prancing around infront of the computer screen. My head is pounding too, jesus, i really hope i can make it through tomorrow, i have a ton of studying to do still, but once that is over i am free. For 26 days. Wow 26 amazing fun filled, nothing nagging me days! I think i am in shock, who knew school sucked so completely much.

I was going over my writing today and i must say that i am pretty proud out how everything turned out in my portfolio, I know my way of tackling assignments is very unorthodox, but i find it works quite well!

My Game Plan;

(ohh i must type quieter, i might wake Miranda)

Get assignment ............

many days weeks and perhaps months go by....

then i finally say, i am going to set aside a weekend to finish this

weekend comes .........no work is completed!

this continues till about 2 - 3 days before big assignment. Than i slowly go at it like the assignment was just given out yesterday.

Finally finishing a few hours (and in some cases minutes) before the due date


Ahhh yes!

ok so now i am going to attempt to go back to sleep (not like i ever was asleep in the first place) maybe my cat will retire with me. nahhh there's no chance i am domed to be super tired tomorrow...i mean this morning, coffee is definetly in order for the day :) ohhh and bri left his travel mug.....Double score, now ill be able to carry around two cups of warm coffee.

I love you coffee on days like these, you may hurt my stomach some times but you are still a good friend ...I good friend would let you get drunk once in a while, till your puking on the floor in your bathroom ....i am not saying coffee makes me puke, cause it doesn't, but you know what does....................Fire Ball, that stuff has a bad smell memory attached to it.

well i have reached the point of no return i am so screw, and may i add sneezing like crazy all of a sudden. Man i hate getting sick, this better be some allergy to cats when they rub their tail on your face.

Anyway have a good morning, im gonna attempt to get some shut eye! 5:16 am

Its all so close i can feel it on my finger tips Part 1

I am sitting in Bri's lab at the moment waiting for him to finish checking over my critique paper. I actually just finished reading Das' site. everytime i think about him it brings me back to the "best summer of my life". I have never had so much fun, and i spent so much time with Tyler, Das, Jackie, Dallas, Scott and Lindsay and its time i will never want back.

So christmas is just around the corner and i have only got one present so far and its not even for my secret santa, i better get on that!!!!!!! I was thinking may be a nice little gift pack or meh i have no idea.

Last night i went to Purang's christmas party and i thought it was gonna be totally ackward but it really wasn't. They had tons of food and wine and beer which was way cool. I had 5 glasses ..i know a little to much and man those apitizers were greatness. We played ping pong..had a championship, i made it to the semi finals, i actually beat Hong! ( ya you did read it right, she is asian) sweet i am actually not half bad! I think i would have done even better if i was sober LOL.

Brian made it to the finals but was defeated by Ranhiu (not sure how to spell his name) But it was a respectable lose 19 - 21.

I am think about how good those perogies are going to be when i get home...the only sad thing is a have to study for theory tonight and tomorrow My final exam is on tuesday, then i have placement on wednesday. its all good though once this week is over ill be as happy as a pig in shit!

i don't think i mentioned the Computer science christmas party and i am to lazy to confirm that fact. so this may be a repeat. It was great the food was wicked and i ate way to much.

Friday night Bri, Jay and Me went bowling again, this time we went to Prost, that where the real bowling takes place. i boweled a 116 game "thats awesome" -jay

I feel like i am really improving! after that we went back to bri and jays and Bob and his native friend came over. We drank and got some what smashed. More Bob and native guy then me butdon't get me wrong "i felt it". it was to bad that Bob had to leave beacuse his native friend wanted to go to the BArs LOL i had to hold in my laughs. This native guy by the way looked like the ROCK. anywho i shoudl probably get back to work

Part 2 will come very shortly!


ummmm sugar crytals found in the bottom of brians drawer Yummy!

Jesus Christ i can't take this place anymore

I have been having some trouble over the last month and a half living in this house with these 5 other girls. Now don't get Me wrong i really like 4 out of the 5 of them. I love hangin out with them, but when it comes to living with them i can't take it. Its seems to be that i can't take the way they live and i have put my foot down.

The kitchen has been a mess for about a week and a half and the dishwasher has been loaded with the same dishes for just as long. I had said from the start that i didn't want to use the dishwasher because it doesn't clean well, the soap is expensive and it uses hydro and water and shit. Anyway all summer we went with out using the dishwasher ....UNtil Laura got here and she was obviously to lazy to washer here own goddamn dishes. I final had it this morning. I had been telling Laura for like a week that the kitchen was disgusting and to clean it and get her fuckin beer bottles out of my site. She still hasn't done it and ontop of that i let her and her fuckin friends use my Nintendo and no the wall plug and TV plug is missing. I told her that she better get it back to me tonight or i am seriously going to rip at her. She also broke my microwave plate and still hasn't replaced it.

So anyway this morning i went up stairs and took all my dishes, utensils and glasses and put them in my room so when i want to have a drink of water ill have a cup to put the water in.

I may sound like i am freaking out for no reason, but i have a standard in which i like to live my life and they are not facilitating that so i will take my own actions to make it happen.

Christmas decorations

Me and Miranda decided to go out yesterday and get decorations for the tree and a snow shovel for the driveway. I figured out how much everyone owed me and her and then posted it on the board and also showed everyone what we got. The first thing out of their mouths were why did you get expensive shit....... And then i let them know how much a shovel was and that it wasn't expansive. These people don't fuckin care about anything anyone does for them. I took time out of my day to go get stuff for the tree so that when Dallas came home last night we could decorate it, but all they do is complain. I give up, i am never doing anything nice for them again. I am sick and tired of being that bad guy asking for money and telling people to clean up their messes.

Oh and because i knew that i would have a hard time getting the money from everyone, i decided to factor it into the hydro bill so instead of everyone paying $51 and still owing me $14.17 each i just added it to their hydro bill and subtracted it from my amount. All of a sudden Dallas says this isn't happening. Because she can't afford it. So i ask her "are you going to pay me what you owe me?" she says yes! And i say well then don't pay me and just added it to hydro bill...Less money exchange that way! But no she doesn't understand. eerrrrrrr frustration. I can't wait till May comes and i can get out of this house for good and ill never live with more then one other person again.

i think i feel a tad better!

Mark your so cool

Well this morning when i got hom i found a large basket on my freezer. At first i thought it was one of lindsays birthday presents, but after Mirnada woke up and told me that Mark (landlord) had brought it by for all of us, i got super excited. I opened it up and WOW

There was:

Pasta
Pasta sause
Tons of hot chocolate
Fruit
mugs filled with chocolate for everyone
Popcorn
more Chocolate
Candy Canes
Cranberry Coffee
Starbucks Coffee

and i am sure there is more i can't think of..................

So i am sure you know what i did...Thats right, stuffed my face with all the candy i could take so now i am jumping off the walls in my house. Oh and did i mention that i smell so i think i am going to take a shower:)

So the weekend at home went well

I look like a praying mantis gahhh



Drove home on friday, the drive was slightly long, but i had good company. I didn't have any placement this week which was kinda nice. What else did i do....well not to much. So anyway back to friday night. Got home Had an awesome dinner "pasta a la Bon gustia" or somthing like that. Then Me and Bri played my parents in Crockano , we lost :( Started to watch the nightmare before Christmas. Didn't get very far through it. saturday Was awoken by a very confused Brian. He thought it was 8:30 when it was actually 7:30 so

Tired - 1 hour of sleep = more tired

hung out around the house all day, played Airhockey and Ping Pong........I am getting better. Then to redeem ourselves, me and Bri Played my mom and dad a Euchre...We totally creamed them. It was great. Then sab and Bri came over with the kids and we watch the Leafs and Canadians Leafs 4-3 in over time it was great. Made the night that much more positive. Dad and me played some ping pong and Bri (my Bri) and Sab played airhockey.

I got my money issue all sorted out so i am in a Plus 5 mood. I was thinking about going to sports mart today to look at soem jackets. Ohhhhhh i am soooo excited. Christmas is going to rock.

Ok right now i am a little to excited to type. Today was the last assessment class ever, out test is on the 6th of Dec and i think im going to study for that all this weekend ohhh and work on EBFUCKINP. BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh

what iam listening: Come on-A my house - Rosemary Clooney

frigin i gotts to go

Its smells like sick winter

i walked out of my room and smelt a strange smell....i think it may be miranda's puke. Yes you hear it form me first my house is sick....i am not but 4 of them are. That would be Miranda Jackie Lindsay and Laura! And the feeling of winter is back

Breaking News

Kingston area is being hit with samanela posioning from bean sprouts. Alot of queens students are getting sick. hummm could it be why 4 of my house mates are sick.

I can't sleep tonight .....

everybodies saying everything is all right.
still i could close my eyes
and see the tunnel at the end of all these lights

sunny days Oh where have you gone
i get the strangest feeling you belong

why does it always ran on me
is it because i lied when i was seventeen
why does it always rain on me
even when the sun is shining i can avoid the light that ohhh where did the blue ski gooo

why is it raining...its sooo cold

ok i think i should go have a shower.

Maybe i won't do placement tomorrow! i think ill leave it for another week sweetness

Its gettin down to the Crunch

last night i was overwhelmed by the amount of work i have on my shoudlers.

this is where i stand right now:

~Nov 22nd~
Client Profile care plan
journal
~Nov 24th 8:30-11:300~
Perform Assessment
~Nov 26th~
EBP - Nurses' knowledge
~Nov 28th 1 hour~
EBP - Group presentation
~Nov 29th~
Case Study
Journal
Issue paper 1500 words
~Dec 4th~
EBP - Reflective Writing Exercise
~Dec 6th~
Client Profile care plan
Assessment Final Exam
Journal
~Dec 9th~
EBP - Reading and Critiquing Research
(supposed to be done in pairs but i don't have one
cause there weren't enough poeple in the class, so i am doing it on my own)
~Dec 10th~
EBP - Appendices
~Dec 12th~
EBP - Professional Portfolio
~Dec 13th~
Theory Final Exam
Journal

at this point i feel like its actually rediculus how much stuff they have assigned to us, and thats not even all of it i still have to factor in Placement twice a week for 7 hours a day. and class on monday and tuesday 8:30 - 3:30. I really think it would be a good idea to bring in this list and show the teachers. they don't communicate with each other so they have no idea how much work we have to do.

So now that i don't have a life anymore, i am really looking forward to Dec 13th. I think it will feel like one of the best days of my life.

i still also forgot about going home within the next two weekends. If i do go home i am gonna have to work there too. I just need a visual of everythign i have to do and how much time i have to do it in. It might help me alot.

Now i am just waiting for Brian to get home, i miss him so much and its only been 3 days. Well back to work i go!

My cat likes to eat plastic jelly fish

Its My Birthday!

Well my birthday definitely beat last years, i didn't get locked out of any rooms and no one stole my alcohol ....And i didn't even throw up.

It started pretty great, Every house i went t o during placement, Kelly would announce it was my birthday. She gave me a little present too. When i got home from placement i took a nap cause i was super exhausted and the Bri called and woke me, so i could get ready for dinner. We went to EastSideMarios, i had veal and pasta. Brian got me some really nice flowers and a kinder surprise (it was a good one to, not like a puzzle of something that you don't have to put together, it was actually a blue convertible) I drank Gin and tonic all night, and kept a pretty good buzz, i didn't have to buy any of my own drinks and i got 2 birthday shout outs at the bar.

I was a little ticked that mere, Nicole and Sarah didn't wish me happy birthday till like 11:58 at night, talk about leaving it to the last minute. Whatever

there were no picture which is kinda a bummer.

Well i am beat, i think i am going to go to bed now.

Night Night

It was strange in the most strange way

It seems like everything just came down to one single problem. I couldn't tell you what the problem was, but i knew how to push it out of the way for the time being.

I sat on the coach deep in some sorta of concocted misery. i ate right out of the pot, and i felt what came with that empty pot. The one or two pieces of macaroni stuck to the side, the ones that weren't scraped free, they didn't look tempting at all, they actually looked gross. The ones you eat around but if your really still hungry after finishing everything else, you'll eat them!

The past seems to wash over me a lot, its unexpected and some times it makes me crazy. Maybe i am crazy, maybe its this wanting to be different from everyone else that makes me crazy. Or maybe its because i have stumbled across some assortment of ideas that just happen to be the correct ones, but humanity cannot deal with the truth.

this weekend was pretty fun, Friday was great. i went to Bob and Kelly's house to watch the guys play Snakes and ladders. I got pretty involved with the drinking and even poured myself a estimated shot in a tumbler (those are never good). I had a fun time with Brian, it feels so good to be around him.

i am looking forward to sleeping in my bed tonight. My new pillows make it so worth it. They are like those pillows you see on the TV shows and in commercials.

My bed in its present state:

Bones is in his routine position

Anyway i am heading to bed, i am beat!

Oh Boy

So last night i got really drunk and ended up smashing my head off Brian's bathtub

Gloria, Brians sister came down to visit him and the plan was to do some pre drinking at his house, With Bob and kelly too. But i got to drunk and made it all the way to the bathroom, where i ended up bashing my head off the soap holder in the tub. My head has a huge bump on it now. So now again i have missed another outting, prospects for me making all the way through my birthday look pretty grim, but i will switch to Gin instead of Vodka, i think that may help me make it through the night.

Some Bar-ing is in order for thursday. Lindsay and Dallas are going to come too so that will be great

Whats really ticking me off right now it the fact that on friday i was not here and yet someone...i suspision Patty, came into my room and smoked a cigarette, then put it out in one of my candles and didn't clean up his mess. I am really becoming dissapointed in him. He seems to be doing really sketch ball thing to me. I am not impressed and i think he should give me an apology for what he did. But who do i really blame for it? LAURA, why you ask? Because it always seems that these things happen when laura invites these disrespecting people to our house, (or dorm room when that was the case). and the other girls in the house (i have been living with them longer) and their friends have never done anything like that.

oh and i guess you are wondering why my door was open? my cat likes to sleep in my room, so i leave the door open a crack so that he can get out or in when he wants. I guess i can't do that anymore because of some people who don't respect other peoples property.

The ranting about laura could go on for hours, i have so many things that could make the list but because i am steaming just thinking about it, i'll give it a rest.

ONe more thing, just to get it off my mind. Laura has this obsession with locking her bedroom door all the time and all the house doors...even when she is home. Laura we don't live in the ghetto and second Lindsay, jackie, dallas and i made it all summer without having anyone try to break into our house. we left the door unlocked during the day because we all have places to go and usually some one is home. i talked to her today about it and she gives me her little "i don't feel safe unless the doors are locked" Poor little orleans bubble laura dosen't feel safe in her own house. Sarcasim* someone is gonna come and steal her precious laptop, patterned plates and pink everything from her room. , or wait maybe shes afraid of getting kidnapped and held ransome, i have a tear for her. sarcasim over* Lindsay and Dallas came home last night from the bars in a taxi and they had money inside to pay him. Laura had locked all the doors in the house and when they bang on the doors for several minutes and loud loud! laura didn't answer. and guess where she was? On the couch right beside the front door, like she was on gaurd or something. Anyone would be woken by Dallas banging a broom on your window! COME ON

And thats what really grinds my gears!

What a dinner should be

A dinner should be tasty and fullfilling, leave you satisfyied and not wanting anymore then what you just ingested. It should make you smile and think "WOW the steak was cooked perfectly" and "i don't think i could recreate tha meal if i tried"

A dinner should not be COLD, over flavoured (because then your taste buds get over loaded and you could die) to complex or too simple, 3 is a good number for friends on a plate.

example

Steak
Potatos
Carrots

two is just ....well the number to me seems like it couldn't satisfy me. The plate may be to big in my mind for 2.

T-shirts with catchy sayings and funny punch lines .......i hate em and they stink. I am not sure why, i think it might be the fact that i know some other person is going to be wearing it so i know its not original. just some stupid thing to add to popular demand.

BONJOUR

SO this weekend was a pretty big success! I got my recert done and my CPR updated, that's out of the way now!

Friday night

Sarah Came over and we hung out for a while, she had brought over some stuff to work on, Designs for her GD program at Humber. She was talking about this cup she had to cut in half so me, brian (and some long distance help from jason)and her thought of some ways to cut it. We attempted to use a dremal but that was very unsuccessful!
I also got a hold of Shar and she told me when i had to be up at Heights ......8:30AM ....WHHAAAA.
No sleeping in for me.
Me and BRI raided the cupboards and fridge for cheese and crackers and all kinds of yummy snacks. Sarah, and i made perogies, they were so good.

In bed by 11:30 and that includes studying for the recert. :( so tired!

Oh and i forgot to report on my IKEA adventure. I love that place so much, it took Whit, Bri and I an hour and a half to go through it and it was so worth it. I got some cups for the kitchen (now they all match) and Brian got a whole shit load of tea lights, oven mitts (what was he doing with out them in the first place ...i don't know....*cough* burnt finger) and a chopper.

Saturday DAY

up at 6:30, and i studied more for the recert. Off to heights. I was there from 8:15am till 7:30 at night. I was super tired, but on the plus side i got to see all the patrollers from 2 years ago and i got my CPR recert too, so that's all out of the way.

Saturday Night

Went to Jackasstors with Brian, Sabrina, Mike, Veronica and B (this is what Brian wants me to call him now, its not gonna happen, but because it will alleviate confusion at the moment its being used) It was a pretty fun time, we had territory wars (crayones were used to mark our territory on the table and then I sabatoged everyones) and ice cube fights (consisting of veronica and Sabrina flicking water at me, i fell off my chair, and putting ice cubes in my coat pockets) and i also got pretty drunk!

PAN BREAD RULES

Sunday

Slept in till about 10ish and then i put in laundry and got that ball rolling. I made Breakfast for Bri and me and he burned all my moms Christmas CDS. SWEET.
then we played air hockey SCORE 38 - 38 then we played some piano, and looked at some geek pictures of me from elementary school and high school.

Listening to: Tegan and Sara ALBUM So Jealous

Then we went to Sab and Brian's for dinner. Veronica came over to and Dinner was great!

The Menu:

Coffee and wine

Pork cutlets
Parmesan potatoes
Corn
Garlic Bread

Apple Crisp

We played Dr. Mario and Tetris too, Domenic even came over ! i hadn't seen him in a while.
Then WE went home!

And here are some pictures from the weekend

Everything has changed so much since the summer #2

I was just looking at some peoples blogs today, wow have things changed! It all happens so fast, but what can i say i guess everything does . i should be getting to bed since it is 1 in the morning and i havn't stayed up this late in forever. I am such a geek!

I went back to future shop today and i got the MINI. Ya iam back to that...oh well, the thing that i have for my car is so sweet. Its this device that plugs into the lighter outlet and my Mini plugs into it and it transmits through radio frequency. The thing is, its clear as a bell, unlike those itrips. Its a great thing and i can't believe i got it for free WOW.

ANyway goodnight ALL, the weekend is just around the bend!

Food! i love it

I got a parking ticket yesterday for parking infront of my house. What bullshit is that, well i am obviously not paying for it. I went to Town hall and filled out some form telling them why im not.

It goes alittle something like this:

I AM NOT PAYING FOR THIS TICKET. I live at 12 foster st, which is where my car was parked when you ticketed me. I live with 5 other people and 2 of them also drive cars. The drive way makes it impossible for me to park in there, during class...if any of the people in my house need their cars i would have to move mine and i would be in class so that wouldn't be happening.


I am pissed at the fact that i had to waste gas and my time to go to Town Hall and do this, i think they should have parking exceptions for anyone who lives in that subdivision. MEAT HEAD metermaids hate their life and they just love to make other people suffer!

So my Halloween was a downer, no going out no drinking no nothing...well actually i did get my hair dyed. It looks pretty sweet. It took lindsay about 3 hours to do it but it turned out beautifully! Its Red and Brownish ...well you'd have to see it to get the picture!

Oh and i went to bed at like 10:00 o'clock....ON halloween , what is this?

Last night Brian came over and i made veal parmishan, i was actully surpsised at how good it turned out. I am going to cook homemade meals more often, i also figured out that i f i go grocery shopping every week, i can get some fresh food instead of the traditional "shop for food that will last for a month" (freezer stuff).

I bought tons of cold meats, and this morning i made myself an awesome toasted sandwich. :)

Whats on the agenda for today:

12:30pm meeting with Veronique, now i can see how i did in placement
after meeting, go visit Kori, hopefully he will be there so we can chat.
maybe clean my room.
watch Beetlejuice
i think that i will be going to future shop and picking up the mini, i have thought about it alot and i really liked the mini, it was a good product, and i must admit i was a little hard on it.....although i really wanted the classic ipod but i can't run with that, and the nano is just not up to par! Its small and light but they get scratched easily and ..well fell apart with in 30 days of having it. So if i go back to the Mini i can use my fancy car gadget for it.

MAGIC 8 BALL says: all signs point to "DOOoooo IT"

update on the Mcdonalds monopoly, we have every one that you can possibly get with out winning, so now its just waiting to see if the lucky on will come along....probably not, but it doesn't hurt to dream a bit!

going to do the Ski patrol cert this weekend that should be fun, and the outting with Sab, Bri, Mike, VV and Brian will be awesome (And no i didn't put the same Brian in there twice, its 2 different ones ..this could get complicated)

i think its shower time

what are you doing

i was listening to country and i think i still am, what is this!

morning light makes me think of you

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

I am standing in my patients room, i looks out to see the sky lite up with glowing red. Its the most beautiful thing, and i want to see it with you

an early rise today, the cat kept scratching at me. Well i guess its a good thing!

Mom and dad are now sitting in the intensly bright sun in a Aruba. I am so jealous of them, i hope when i am older and married i can take trips to aruba or some exotic place.

my birthdays in 18 days, its so close i can feel it yet at the same time i don't want it to come. i love Birthdays, but it seems that i get a slight feeling of sadness on those days, just cause i know it won' last very long, and the next morning when i open my eyes i have nothing to look forward to. Althougt it seems now a days i wake up and i can only think of one person and always wanting to see them. I never thought i could spend every waking moment with someone and still that not be enough. The one good thing about being away from him is i can have that time to miss him and think about how lucky i am. And that what i look forward to

CLASS IN 40 minutes

i am think maybe i should get dressed, what to wear ...its halloween!

done and done...oh i look like a catholic school girl ya


what i am listening to: Someday you will be loved ~ Death Cab for Cutie
back l8ter

Everyone is different, no two people are the same..But we all make mistakes!

Just dropping by to say hi!

The Halloween party went well, lots of people came, but i wouldn't know cause i passed out again before 12. Uhthankyou

my costume rocked Pink Punker! The hair was sweet too Mohawk central (it kinda fell forward though)

anyway ill be back tomorrow, i am out Major tom!

I hear that goddamn clock ticking .....and i really wanna crush it, LIKE A BUG

Time seems to be winding down extra fast. I have 1 and a half Client profiles to do taday, then dinner with the Ex ..., i shouldn't refer to him as that. Lets call him friend # 2 hahahaha, no just Will. After dinner ....MORE PUMPKIN CARVING. Brian has a chance to redeem himself. and i can make another masterfull piece of work. GO LEAFS GO

i also have a Halloween party tomorrow night, the Kitchen is A MEss and a half. I have taken a stand not to clean it. Since its all drunk people mess anyway, Its also not healthy to make food in so thank god i am eating out tonight. SUNDAY is study day again it should be called Studay, i just love those days and the i get a whole new week. No more clinical YESSSSS

Anyway i should get back to work

The brown Bag theory

The Brown Bag Theory may be Far out there for some of you but this is what i have concluded from my experience with it.

Conclusion:

The Brown Bag is a very unlucky bag, it causes me much grief when i use it and it seems to break alot too. Now you may be think to yourself why not stop using it! Well the bag always seems good at the time but once i have all my stuff packed into...by the way its a big bag and it fits tons of stuff in it...its too late!

It gets stuck on everything possible
its causes frustration when carrying it (always slips off my shoulder)
the strap unbuckles time and time again
it is always in the middle of everything

tonight and today for example it did all these things, it kept getting stuck under the rollie chair and actually made me scream out loud when i was trying to get out of my car.

Anyway i think i might stop using the bag after today!

well back to the homework Boooo to that !

A little frustrated

I got my Flu shot yesterday :( i really didn't want it, but i sucked it up and Jen and I went and got them. Mine hurt like a bitch and my arm is still tender today. I hate needles so much. They make my skin crawl.

Last night i went out for pizza @ philthy's with Brian ...I love their free pizza its so AWESOME!
I ate so much food last night and the strange thing ...I was still hungry as ever. I could have ate the second pizza no problem LOL.

Well i got a good start today woke up early on my day off and clean my downstairs area including laundry room. Did 2 load of laundry so far and am still planning to do a 3rd. and no i am preparing to go to the hospital for the last time this semester. On friday i will no longer be on Connell 9 ~ General Surgery, I will be in the community (clinics) and i won't have to wake up @ 5:30 am.
So long for now, ill be back in a couple of hours!

A giant pink bunny

Pink bunny story

The most lovely smile is the one that makes you cry when its not there!

I have finally found that smile that makes me happy all the time. Its a happiness that i never thought i would find ...But because i stopped looking, i found it. And its as perfect as it could ever be.

This reminds me of my ring:

I lost it a while back and i couldn't remember the last time i had it on. I was a bit upset about it, but i realized that i never seem to find anything when i am looking for it ...So i forgot about it. One day i saw my cat crawl out from under my bed and i wondered where he slept under there. If he had a little spot that was comfortable or something he would curl up on. I grabbed a flash light to check it out and the first thing the light shone upon was my ring. It was really strange! It was just sitting there all alone, nothing around it. It brought on an extreme feeling of contentment. This made me think that some things are just meant to happen and they will always find away to happen even if they seem impossible at the moment.

The Ring story is a perfect description of the events that have recently taken place in my life.

A man who knows what women WANT!

For anyone who is feeling stressed or anxious or even just raged out of their mind i recommend you Grab a copy of Leonard Cohen - Im Your man! or in that case anything by him.

One of the most relaxing singers i have ever heard!

I am listening to his greatest hits right now. Suzanne is a great song to start off with, it will give you a little feel of whats to come.

Never go to bulk barn, its bad news!

Its freezing in here..I can fix that

*empties de-humidifier*

last night I ingested way to much crap food

1. 2 double cheese burgers and fries from McDonald's
2. Sour gummie worms
3. Gummie Bears
4. Rose buds
5. Sour rootbeer gummies

My stomach actually did well though, it hurt for maybe ten minutes and then went away.

On Friday I went Bowling with Bri and Jay Z HIZO.....ahahahaha.

I did pretty well, by the second game i wasn't getting gutter balls anymore. I actually got a bunch of strikes and spares. Jason was wicked, he got so many strikes i lost count.... alot of turkeys! Bri was pretty good too, but way better at cooking. He made leek soup.... umm delish.

We went to the bulk barn yesterday for SOMETHING specific and came out with a Kilo of candy and not what we went in for! (we kinda forgot) I got red pistashios but man did they suck not even the least bit salty. I feel like going there and demanding $4.44 Back. What do they think, that they can pull the wool over my eyes, they probably made more money off that! passing unsalted nuts off for salted ones!

Currently listening to: Skincarver ~ Danzig a little heavy, but i am enjoying it at the moment!

Computer needs to be reformatted and i think that future shop may have ripped me off. When i bought my computer . They said i had a DVD burner and as it turns out i may not! So guess who else is gonna get a visit!

From all the pumpkin carving i got an infection in my thumb. It was soo painful yesterday i could actually feel my heart beating in it, but its all healed now :)

well i think i am going to go have bath now. Umm um!

Hope everyones weekends were great

As of saturday i am that much closer to $100,000,000

PRESENTING...The pumpkins

so heres how it works...the group picture is all the pumpkins we carved last night. Each of us thought our own pumpkin was the Best so you have to help us and vote for your favorite! Their names are
1.TML - Toronto maple leafs
2.Spider Web
3.the Witch
4.ummmmm BAT

number 4. Was supposed to be Strong Bad but Bri punched his face in and ended up making a bat. He blames me for the destruction of strong bad...I was just try to fix it a swear!
Brian says "I will be re-doing mine...For obvious reasons" the rest of the identities to the pumpkins will not be revealed due to....Well I think you know!

Good effort everyone! *two large thumbs up*

All and all the pumpkins carving went well. Pumpkin seeds were even made and I am eating them as I speak! SOOOO good

I am not going to fix it

just so everyone can get a good laugh at my spelling errors! I realized that its not pretty and if you really want me to fix it here you go ...BOWL..... It was a bowl of pasta!

:P your all super mean LOL

Kori kori kori my sweater is a sweater don't worry about it (I eventually would like it back but no rush)....Although I would like to see you some time soon. You know your always welcome to stop by my house after class, I do live about 20 seconds off the beeton path. And that goes for anyone, my house has a spinny door so visitors are always welcome! 12 foster street

I cleaned the fridge this morning. You know what?... It was actually strange, I was sleeping and all I could think of was the fridge and how messy it was and how badly I wanted to clean it up. Is that being obsessive? Anyway I cleaned it and took about half the food that was in it OUT. No body will take out their own rotting food. Its kinda gross. I can't believe I woke for the soul purpose of cleaning the fridge!

And a week or two ago Laura came across some shriveled potatoes in a drawer, instead of doing anything about it, she just wrote a note to the house that there were potatoes that needed to be tossed ......Bitch you have hands, fuckin use 'em! (oh that felt so good to say!)

LAtely she has been getting on my nerves! Its not that she really does anything, but its the fact that she goes out of her way to avoid me. Like I was the Norwalk or something. To tell you the truth I think Lindsay is even more pissed about this then I am! She is pissed that Laura really has no reason to not like me but she still does anyway. I am sure there are some underlying reason....*cough jealous * excuse me!

*One situation*

Jackie was going to drive Laura, Mike, Bedford and Dallas downtown, but around the same time I wanted to go do banking so I offered to take them off Jackie's hands. Right when I said this Lindsay said "I bet she won't come now cause your driving!" I agreed with her, but she really had only 2 choices ..1. Come with me 2. Don't come and get left behind ...So obviously she would pick 1. BUT instead she added a 3. I didn't give her permission to add a 3. Come but let everyone get in the car first and wait 10 minutes for her slow ass. Then after honking several times finally make her fine exist out the door.



AND I ALMOST FORGOT

PARTY @ MY HOUSE OCTOBER 29, 2005

Its A HALLOWEEN PARTY AND EVERYONE IS INVITED ~ please dress to impress (costumes)

*I am think out loud at the moment*

what I'm listening to: Guns'n'roses ~ November Rain

my birthday is inching up quite fast, sooner then you know it all be 20 ..The big two OH

I think I am just gonna make a nice dinner for me and someone else ;) enjoy my new found maturity! But mark my words I will never ever be a fully mature person. My youthful/never serious/joking personality is what I really do love about myself. Its A shame not to be able to enjoy life! humm well I think that's it for today.

tomorrow will be pumpkin carving REVIEW .Hope it goes well! Pictures of all the fab pumpkins will be posted!

A new post for a new day

I have been neglecting my blog lately, maybe because i am busy or maybe because i am busy, either way i decided to take some time out of my busy life .....HA....to update the bastard!

The sickness has passed. I feel Great, i am eating again, my appetite is back with a vengeance. It seems that ever since Friday I have been wanting food more then ever. Like 30 minutes ago I made a bowel of pasta and that was at 12:20am.

so now I am thinking about tomorrow. I am freakin excited about the pumkin carving and lost too. Bri is gonna join the festivities and hopefully drag Jason too. Freamo and Miranda and Dallas to man our kitchen is going to be splattered with pumkin guts :D

I put Christmas lights in the kitchen and they look sooo cool. They are behind the rather large collection of bottles above our cabinets.

ANOTHER POINT FOR HILLARY


well i am too tired to write anymore but ill come back tomorrow

The journey of my sickness

So I think its day three of having this crazy "enteritis" eating has been out of the question for me lately, you now just white bread and gatorade. Its been leaving me kinda lethargic , no sorry really lethargic! I went to do research today and I talked to the head nurse. She told me to go home and eat something and see how I feel...So I went home and made chicken noodle soup. I eat half the bowel and was stuffed (like I had just eaten the thanksgiving dinner from Sunday, although I think I felt even more stuffed with the soup) so food was crossed off the list.

I laid on the couch watching TV and trying to find a comfortable position so I wasn't dying of pain (2 thumbs down) watched survivor and CSI (it was good tonight...Like always) then I decided after seeing so many food commercials, that I needed something to eat. POTATOES!

I boiled some potatoes and mashed them real good. I was soooooo excited for them.

I wolfed down as much as I could bear and had a couple glasses of water to follow. Then I got this strange feeling. I was in Miranda's room reading some instructions to some medication and I felt dizzy ...Really dizzy, then it hit me, I had energy! I freaked right out and got super excited. I even felt semi ok. So I sat and chatted with the girls as they were getting ready to go out.

They left and I was now heading to my room. I close the door behind me put on some PJ's and it hits me. Nausea full on. I dash to the bathroom making it in the nick of time. This is my first day of vomiting and surprisingly it made me feel a lot better.

bye bye potatoes

now I will try to sleep ...heres to some success!

i know what it is now

i have viral gostroenteritis, how i got it? i am not sure, but i can tell you one thing IT BLOWS
so am down for the count, still not eating anything. waiting for bread and gatoraid. :(
back to bed i go

SOB SOB SOB!

pains progressively get worse and more frequent ...some one please kill me! how will i go to clinical tomorrow if i am running to the bathroom every 5 minutes and the only way it stops is if i don't eat! and that leads to hunger and lethargy, jesus fuckin christ! sob sob sob and thats my story.

thats it i am gonna see if i can make it to the stupid health centre

wish me luck

I am still in pain

my stomach is relentless, its now been over 24 hours since it stared hurting and i feel just as crappy as i did yesterday morning when i woke up. Any food seems to be doing it now. Solution - don't eat anything!

So the leafs won last night! I didn't get to watch the game because we couldn't find what channel it was on (Jason says it wasn't on at all which is total bullshit), but we did end up watching the Gilmore Girls...Oh man the funniest shit ever ;)

right now iam waiting for lindsay to call me so i can go and pick her up. i hate waiting! i think she got someone else to pick her up thank god, i don't think i could if i really wanted to!

i am getting hate mail from my sister hehehe. she would now like me to refer to bones as "my sisters cat"

anyway thats enough for today i feel like shit
i am gonna lay down

theres a chill in the air

I hope everyone had a happy thanksgiving!

Mine was pretty good, Mom made a perfect turkey as per usual. the bread stuffing rocked and so did the mashed potatos ( i made those hehe). Nanny and Grandpa came up too! I was shocked when i saw grandpa, he had a cast on and sounded horrible. can you believe this: he has a cast on his right foot and he drove from Barrie to my house (a half hour drive). Some times i think my grandpa is to much of a thrill seeker!

Wedding dress shopping with VV, Sab and Mom was pretty fun. Its been a while since i spent time with all of them together. Veronica had some succese, now she didn't pick a dress, but she did find a special few that she really liked. I could tell she was torn between two of them. It must be such a hard desicion for her ( but i think she should make it on her own because its her dress for her special day)

I brought my cat back home to kingston with me, he seems to be adapting well. I think he likes all the people in the house. I have been debating about letting him outside or making him an indoor cat.

Pros & Cons of being an indoor cat
he won't get hurt he likes to go outside
he'll stay clean litter box will be changed alot
he won't get hit by a car trying to keep him inside is tricky
no fleas either

I woke up at 5:30am to my stomach feeling the worst its ever felt. this lasted for about an hour then i had this stronge urge to vomit so i ran upstairs and sat by the toilet talking to jackie. After that passed the stomach pains came back and they felt just as bad. i ended up missing class this morning and instead i got to dash back and forth to the bathroom (to tell you the truth i would have rather been in class) So in conclusion i have not had a good nights rest PERIOD! i think i got about 3 hours of decent sleep and the nausea is an off/on thing!

Oh and did i tell you i am going to win a $10,000 shopping spree. I am going about it a different way now..instead if thinking i won't win (and i never do) i will now think that i will! and hopefully on the first of November i will be able to tell you guys that i won A sweet shopping spree:)

iam gonna go lay in my bed and see if i can get some rest now, so much for looking for a job today, I look and feel awful :(

hopefully tomorrow will be a good day and by friday it will be great....LEts hit the road to Perrysound HOTTUB and sauna here i come!

i am down for the count!

FRIG IS THE ONLY THING I CAN SAY

i have become really frustrated within the last half hour, i made a small mistake that turned into a big one and now i am upset because i feel like i am being fucked over.

anyway i have a test tomorrow i need sleep cause i got to be up for 5:30. i am also driving home too. I have two people coming with me so that should really help me pay for the gas there and back.
ill update later during the weekend, when i actually feel like talking about soemthing other then the fact that i am angry. gerrrrrr

sleep tight

p.s. don't ever do stop listening to your friends

A split headache and some free apple stuff

Today my mom called me to let me know that she talked to one of the guys at apple and he is sending me a wall charger for my ipod plus i am also allowed to pick $150 worth of accesories off the apple web site for my brand new Ipod. now tell me if thats not a deal. All thanks to my mom and her very good skills with people......i think i owe her a little surpise;)

Went to the doctor today and had to get a second physical, ugg, but thank god thats over with. Last night was pretty fun. Bri came over around 7 and we watched more LOST and stuffed our faces with snacks. Mike, Laura, Dallas and Lindsay decided to drink. Mike was drinking a Large bottle of wine. Mike + any type of alcohol = Really bad turnout.

So he was set on driving home after he had drank a whole bottle, but i would have none of that in my house. I wrestled him to the ground in the middle of the road, and after about 5 minutes of pain i fianlly got the keys from him and hide them in my room. Good deed done for the day! After Laura and Mike went out to the Bars, me and Lindsay sat at in the Kitchen and had a nice chat. after that i went to bed.... and then was woken at 230 by Mike wanting his keys back. Again ...NO DEAL MAGARNIGAL! So i wrestled with him some more to try and calm him down....HE kept me up till 530 this morning. So i think thats why my head hurts like crazy.

So now that i have my Nano, i am happy once again and i am back on my feet running around kingston.

I have watched about 15 lost eposoieds ...totally addicted still.
lost is on tonight and so is first HOckey GAme yesss

off to do shit

I am Addicted to Lost!

Thanks to Brian i am now wasting time ...watching Lost (its a good waste of time though)

Loud Noises BBQ went very well, didn't win at Bierut or anything for that matter, but i still had a rockin time. The food was excellent! my compliments to anyone who cooked...Matt the burgers were tasty indeed, i can honestly say that i don't think i have ever had a better burger, and the salad (a group effort) was great too. I really liked the pepper in it (i never thought to putting pepper in salads till now).

Ryan(*red polo shirt)
trusty Jell-O shooter supplier, A big thanks Goes Out to HIm!!!! even when "others" told him to stop bringing them to me!
I got the Nano, YESSSSS, i traded my mini to get it. I almost feel like i betrayed the Mini :( but man the nano is so small, how could i resist?

well i should get to sleep, got a test tomorrow!

Night All

UPDATE!!!!!

I perfected the chicken Parmishan sub and realized that its not my fault ....the chicken sucks!

lets see how many times i can hurt myself!

Pain rated on scale from 0 - 10 3 hour time period

1. walk in the door, go downstairs, on the way back up i hit my hip on the door knob (5)
   
2. really strange but i hit my hand on something invisible jutting out of my door frame (3)
   
3. Cut finger with butter knife (2)
   
4. Dresser Stress! (7)
   

Thats all i can think of right now ...just wait till tomorrow

I had a fight with my dresser!

My neck is killing me tonight!

Yes i got in a fight with my dresser, I kicked it and yelled at it "you fucking drawer CLOSE goddamn you" then i hit it some more! Its a piece of crap and this one drawer won't close because its kinda slanted, but it makes all the rest of the drawers get stuck to. I need a less used one! Maybe ill hit up the thrift House and see what i can find.

Miranda found alot of mould under her bed today so we are getting all the carpets steam cleaned YESSSSS. Its gonna make this place smell so much better.

I cut myslef with a butter knife this time while doing the dishes. I hate dishes soooo much.

here is my rant for today: Laura got her new computer, it came in alot of boxes and she just threw them all outside so the rain could get them all soaked, it makes our house look so trashy. I cleaned up outside today and put everything in that shed behind our house. Now its filled with beer bottles, wet boxes, tables and chairs. I was tempted to take the bottles back, but last time i did that Jackie yelled at me and told me they were all hers. I had to give her some of the money even though they had been sitting outside for over a month and i had to clean them all out and put them in blue boxes to get them to the beer store. Alot of effort on my part not rewarded in any way!

Now i just got in shit for throwing Dallas' nasty slippers in the garbage. they had been outside for a month and had gotten wet then dried and infested and dried and wet and eww they were gross! I can't win here, Never


What i am listening to right now: The Police And The Private - Metric (smashing song, its sooo good)

Went out to Mybar last night, i got pretty intoxicated. It was packed with people. GD people, man i don't know why i get so pissed but the GD people really know how to piss me off! they make Mybar their bar and everything is about GD and the fuckin GD Clan. Jesus why do they have to be like that?

Hungout with Bri today, i got the Chicken Parmishan Sub and it was really good, the only thing i think i would change is that it be a little warmer and have some salt on it. Ummmm salt!

What my sub contained:

• Breaded chicken
• Lettuce
• Tomatos
• Mayo (lots too)
• cheese (not so much)
• marinara sauce
  
• parmishan cheese
  

i think thats all. Oh man i am soo hungry for one again!

then for a tasty snack Brian wipped out the onion dip and scoops. It was tasty, but i didn't have much cause the lactose Factor...and the onion (don't get me wrong i love onion in dip form, but it hates my stomach ..no matter how much i love it)

Stomach status: grim!

Remove the remote from your pocket and look up at what your missing!

I am standing at the edge of a cliff, feeling everything I am. Smelling all that exists around me. For 2 Decades I have been on this earth, but if you were to ask me if I could remember all of that I would look you in straight in the eyes and say "HELL NO"

So about today, I have been going to bed a lot earlier then I normally do, I feel a lot more rested now. I guess that's what I have been doing wrong (not going to bed early) I was in a really good mood this morning, class was boring, but we had some lady come in to talk about sexual assault! I slept through most of it. Man she wouldn't stop talking.

Lindsay just walked into my room, she died some of her hair purple, some of it black and some blonde, I am not sure what to think of it! It smells good though, like flowers or something.

Ohhh after class I came back here and put some buttons on some pants. Watched the Gilmore Girls from last week. It was really shocking about how they are going about the plot for this season, but I like it.

Brian got me hooked on Lost, I have been attempting to Download last season, but I am having no luck so far!

Listening to: Marching Bands Of Manhattan - Death Cab For Cutie

I have a dentist appointment tomorrow, slightly nervous. Not sure how it will work out!

I am going home next weekend to see the family, I am gonna miss everyone from K-Town. I really don't like leaving here, its home to me now. Somedays I feel like I should leave, like yesterday, but then I think about it more. I really would like to travel, but I think my life right now is up in the air, what ever happens will effect the way it falls. In the back of my mind I want someone to make me wanna stay here, or take me away somewhere new and different.

DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE

I Will Follow You Into The Dark

Love of mine
some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light
or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
In Catholic school
as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles brusied
by a lady in black
And I held my toungue
as she told me "Son
fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside
you When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
You and me
have seen everything to see
From Bangcock to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes
are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

I recommend everyone have a listen to this song! tell me what you think of it

Shake your Head, its empty!

Ohhh thank-you, I will be attending the "LOUD NOISES" Charity Barbecue, sounds like a plan!
what time does it start?
Oh and its crazy that you would post a comment tonight of all nights cause guess who showed up at my door step....None other then two hot Cops saying that we had our music to loud (our gay neighbors called it in I assume)! I love Loud noises! Rocking out to Metric still!

Empty - Metric is one Sweet-ass song!

I wish I knew where I was so long ago

I ran to my usual swinging spot today, I ran in the rain. It was really cold, but for the first time ever this cold seemed to be comforting to me. I swung below all these pebbles and I had to fight the urge to fall face first into them, each round wet pebble resting against my arms and legs. I could feel my thoughts start to slow down and eventually come to a halt. I am stepping back from everything that is me, was me and will ever be me! I am nothing at the present moment, making no difference in anyone's lives. I will be one of those pebbles that moves back and forth beneath my feet, that feels no pain and has nothing to lose. I want to be the pebble sooo badly, sadly I will never be this one small pebble. I will continue to exist in this world of never ending hurt and pain.

Note to self: eat something

Anger has many ways of showing it self. I say what I feel at the present moment, which does not mean I will always feel this way. Maybe one day it will change, who knows. For now I am learning more about myself and how easy it is to get hurt.

On a more up-lifting note I got Metric's new CD Live It Out! I am enjoying it right now, good listening material. For all the rest of you the album won't be available till tomorrow HA!

"It's all just the idea of 'don't freak out.........Anything that happens to you is just your life getting lived. Sometimes it feels like we're afraid of events and action of any kind. But if you can get a little distance from it, it becomes an incredible adventure no matter how things turn out."

- Metric's Emily Haines (vocals/synths)



I have a test next Monday, that sounds like a lot of fun wooooow!

out for now!

Aberdeen is Dead!

Well home coming rocked the roof off my house.......ok that was gay, but it still kicked some serious ass.

I got off work and went to the LCBO to pick up some vodka, then headed over to Bri's to start the night. We drank and went to philthy's for some free pizza. This waitress we had was actually hitting on me. It was kinda odd to tell you the truth. She had brought Brian a picture of beer when had asked for a pint, but she wouldn't take it away. she was totally on crack or something

After dinner we walked to matts and then headed for METRIC. I had been so stoked for this concert, that i seriously thought i was gonna die of over-excitedness. We walked through aberdeen st. That place was crazy happenin' Some car blew up, not when i was there, but still these crazy queens people blew up a car...."where are your heads now, Crazy Queens people, i really thought you were smarter then that?" anyway, so metric was amazing live, i can't wait to get their new album.

today i moved my room around and it looks so much better, and there is more room for me to stretch out. I missed the family guy tonight, cause i was out voted by my house mates. Desperate House Wives is what graced or Television screen, oh ya and i just found out that the cable jacks in our house don't work. I think Marky Mark is gonna get a little phone call tomorrow. whats creepy is that Lindsay, Dallas and Laura keep talling me that they run into him at the bar. i though he was old and married MEH

i am gonna go to bed early tonight, in about 10 minutes.

Off to start another long week

What hell comes from the BOOK STORE?

So i have another story to tell about My beloved VISA card, but for reasons i am unable to disclose, i will tell you tomorrow. hahaha

Tired and yanwing, i am excited to make fun of the Queen's Students tomorrow. I plan to drink coffee while doing it soo i think i may be pretty wired by the end of the day! That will be fun, i love being spazy!

What else have i done today, ahh i dropped another resume off at Jacob; they need a stock person. And i am going to drop off one at Denny's again because they are also looking and the guy that i talked to really wanted me to bring in a resume YEAH!

Good news in that department.

Just went to do my research so now i think ill be doing HW for the rest of the night well until i am ready to go to bed.

I am way to judgmental sometimes!

I see people and sometimes I just wonder why they are like they are! I am sure people do the same to me. I wonder why I have this habit.

I was watching Kelly today in class. She sits there trying to be sooo smart and pretend like she has the attention span for this snooze of a class, but I know she will eventually break down and find something else to keep her from falling a sleep......I wait ......Glancing back at her every so often, trying not to make it obvious.....Finally the time comes about 2 hours into class. She is fiddling with her white-out thingy, totally focused on it too. She has no idea what the teacher is saying anymore. She has entered her own world and forgotten about trying to be what she wants other people to see her as.

I think its all about being self conscious. People who care to much about what other people think bug the hell out of me. Not because "they" are followers but because you can't enjoy your life if your always trying to be what other people want you to be! ..................*flashback* ..................When I was in elementary school, I was always trying to fit in, when back to school shopping came around, I always wanted the trendy clothes so I would fit in ( not that I got them lol) why did I feel the strong need to fit in? I realized no matter how hard I tried, I still got made fun of for being short, having glasses and so on and so on. When I got to highschool, I tried the same thing again, but this time, I did fit in and I still didn't like it at all. I don't want to follow a crowd! I just wanna do whatever I feel like doing. Wear what I like and think my own thoughts.................... so if anyone finds them self unhappy ask yourself these questions:

1. If noone else had told me to do what I am doing right now, would I still be doing it?
2. do I dress to impress even when I feel like going out in my joggers and a baggy top?
3. Do I feel like everyone is watching me?
   
4. do I follow the trends even if I don't like them?

if you answer to more then 1 then you might want to rethink who has control of your life, you? Or everyone else, but you?
well that was random ranting for today.

back to school

Goddamn It! My thumb hurts like hell right now!

its not a love that will fade though, its one of those total side swipes, that knocks you off your feet and fills your mind with only thoughts of him and how amazing he is LOVE

you would have those moments where you felt like you should kiss eachother, but you don't because your not completely sure of what he thinks of you.

Fuck love, its only a word, losing all meaning as the days grow older, darker, deeper.

These are some of the different aspects of love I've had over the last couple years . Some are positive and some aren't so much. But I don't think love is always positive, that's what makes love so special. Its Hard to come by and its not easy as pie. If only it was easy as pie, umm and pie is so good too!

I have found my relationship personality in this song

Jack Johnson - Sitting, Waiting, Wishing ~ In between Dreams

Well I was sitting, waiting, wishing

You believed in superstitions

Then maybe you'd see the signs



The Lord knows that this world is cruel

I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool

Learning lovin' somebody don't make them love you



Must I always be waiting, waiting on you

Must I always be playing, playing your fool



I sang your songs, I danced your dance

I gave your friends all a chance

But putting up with them

Wasn't worth never having you



Maybe you've been through this before

But it's my first time so please ignore

The next few lines cause they're directed at you



I can't always be waiting, waiting on you

I can't always be playing, playing your fool



I keep playing your part

But it's not my scene

Want this plot to twist

I've had enough mystery

Keep building it up

Then you shooting me down

But I'm already down



Just wait a minute

Just sitting, waiting

Just wait a minute

Just sitting, waiting



Well, if I was in your position

I'd put down all my ammunition

I'd wonder why'd it taken me so long



But the Lord knows that I'm not you

And if I was, I wouldn't be so cruel

Cause waitin' on love ain't so easy to do



Must I always be waiting, waiting on you

Must I always be playing, playing your fool



No, I can't I always be waiting, waiting on you

I can't always be playing, playing your fool

I don't think i will ever not wait though, thats just me. I think something will eventually come around, so i keep waiting.

Goodnight and sleep like a LOG

damn dishes

i just cut my finger on a knife. Its kinda deep and kinda painful!

Damn Knife!

Yet another cold/flu/fever or what have you!

What I am listening to at the moment: Design - Fiction Company

I was thinking this morning about the flu shot that we are forced to get for being in the nursing program. Now you tell me if this makes any sense!

Why should I get the flu shot? When I do get it I feel instantly sick and pass out, and even after the fact of getting the shot I still get sick (with every possible sickness there is). This year I am going to protest in the compulsory needle poking! No one can jab my arm unless they have a good reason!
Speaking of such sicknesses, well what do you know it has rolled in at just the appropriate time. Now I am sitting here with totally blocked sinuses and sound like a man! Damn man voice.

My mother has just called to update me on the iPod situation. She is getting nowhere just like I told her she would. "I want to throw your ipod off the roof and then drive over it with my car repeatedly" and I respond " now mom if you do that then we won't get any money back!" I think you people may begin to see where my temper originates from! If you think mine is bad just get on my mom's bad side OUCH is all I can say. Love you mom :)

thinking about class in an hour and sneezing all over my self. Sounds like a fun day to me!

Everything happens so quickly, do you believe in fate?

Last night Whit and I had planned to go to Philthy's and get some sweet free pizza and free drinks, wait for Shannon and Justin, then head to the Elixir, but that party train was brought to a dead halt when Whit's ID didn't pass the test. To me, Sarah and Whit look the same, but I guess that just shows how blind I really am. So we didn't make it into Philthy's. Which at the time was a bummer. We had no idea where to go and what to do.

Do to my quick and tactical thinking we got ourselves a 12 of Carling and decided to get drunk at my house. But as fate may intervene, we stopped at Matt's to see if there was a party goin' down, INDEED there was. We cracked the beer and enjoyed our night until Super Cop showed up and slapped matt in the ass with a hefty "Loud Noises" ticket. He obviously had something rather large shoved up his ass last night. There weren't even any noise complaints called in. He just decided that the music was to loud for his precious ears. What blows my mind is that the house one block up had their music much louder, as me and whit got to experience the earth shake as we walked by. Where was Super Cop then Huh?

also went out on Friday but I didn't have that much fun. I wasn't any bit close to drunk, so all the drunk people just seemed to piss me off and to top it off, I was boiling. I ended up leaving Philthy's @ 2 by my self. Got home and crawled into bed! That was pretty much that night wrapped up!

Thursday The rents came down to visit me on their way to Montreal. We went out to Philthy's for Grand Opening night with Scott, and got free pizza coupons and drinks. I had the perogies and they were so tasty ...Except for the onions! When we got home we had some of this really large mumble bumble pie (apple pie) and that's when my mother took my iPod out of my clutches. I small tear rolled down my check as I watched them back out of the drive way. When will I see you again iPod, WHENNNNNNNNNN???
Me and Scott spent the rest of the night watching the O.C. and The Season Finally of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. It was SOHO amazing, it had me on the edge of me seat (2 hours of pure goodness) I can't believe I missed it the first time! I was up for 5:42 On Friday. So the alarm thing is really fucked up. I set it so that I would wake up @ 6 putting into the equation that it goes of 18 minutes late so it was set for 5:42.........Well you can guess that it didn't go off at 6 but instead 5:42. I hate this alarm clock, its either I get up early or I don't get up at all!

anyway back to bed

I thought nightmares were only for little kids!

LAst night I had a very restless sleep. I don't understand why, but lately I've been having nightmares! REALLY SCARY ONES!

I had this dream that I was walking around in a house and everywhere I went there were cobwebs. At the beginning of the dream the cobwebs and spiders were smaller and easy to move out of my way but as the dream continued they got bigger and stronger, and when I would turn around there would already be more cobwebs behind me. I started to freak out and run, but I kept running into them and I was getting stuck. I woke up and was in a total panic, I looked at my clock and I had only been asleep for about 20 minutes. It was 2:00am and I could hear foot steps upstairs. I am not sure if it was the foot steps or my extreme fear that woke me up, but after I woke up I was afraid to go back to sleep.

The Murderer

This dream I had maybe a month and a bit ago, and it was scary too. This man was going around Kingston killing girls that went to St.Lawrence and Queens. He would break into their room at night and torture them, then cut off their limbs and eventually kill them. Saying it now seems to creep me out even more!

No one really exsisits in your mind

This dream I had when I went to Delio's house for the Double Black weekend. There was a guy and he met this girl, he started to like her alot. So one day they went out and they were standing beside this dumpster thing and it opened up like it had a mouth and ate her. He could hear her screaming, so he ran to go get help and when he got back there was no trace of her or blood at all. When he went home he explained to one of his friends what had happened and his friend didn't understand who he was talking about. He started to notice that no one knew who she was. After that event, other girls he met started to disappear before his eyes. And anyone that knew them before thought he was crazy now. This dream doesn't sound as scary as the other ones, but it was. I heard a noise and woke up to Shawn talking to me. It was a relief that some one was there, or I probably would not have been able to go back to sleep!

On a lighter subject, I went to the gym again today at first I thought I would be in a lot of pain because my abs hurt from Monday, but after a couple minutes they were fine and I actually noticed that I could do why better then on Monday....ABS here I come. I also did a step/weight/Ball class right after the ab class. I felt good though really good.

1. 1. off to have a shower