I am a fool for love

I have this picture in my mind of a man, (i don't really know what he looks like) and he is my everything i ever wanted. I think when i date people i project that image on them. I don't know, call me a fool but Im all about love. Its the best feeling in the world.

I have troubles:

1. "FIRST LONG TERM"
he biked and ate - that was basically it, he liked me but i think only for the obvious. i wastes 1 year and 4 months on this asshole. And to end the relationship, i asked him what his priorities were (big mistake) #1 - Bike, what a burn that is on me. well needless to say we broke up and then he did more stupid shit and fucked up his life. Thats fine with me!

2. "Mister SMart"
he was very focused on school work, work and fixing things - not much for sex either (humm something should have tipped me off) i was with him for 2 years (well shy a month, non the less) i can say for sure that in our relationship, we never had nicknames for eachother, no late night phone calls, surprise visits, and no snuggling for fun. I was depribed of love, i was sad and i didn't even know. Because i though he was perfect for me. Although i can say that he did encourage me to do well in school.

Well there is alot about #2 i don't really wanna say i could go on for a year. i am kinda lost for words when it comes to him. i wonder why, maybe because i thought i was gonna marry him. i can't understand what i did wrong.

3. "Can i take you to a movie"
UUmm ya i met him ....well ahhh.. he installed our hard wood floor (lol) he was cute and nice and he seemed so intrested in me, how could i have not said yes. After the first date i should have realized he was no good for me, but hey im a fool. Our first date was HIm, me and his friend (ya you heard me... FRIEND) we didn't even go and see a movie! we ended up garage saleing around the wing ding. then to the mall, and finally back to his house. Friend STill there! we watched movies and he went up stairs and ate dinner, without me. ........humm. again WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG HERE.

so after that date there were more to come he would come to my house then i would go to his, eventually he gave up coming to my house and suckered me to come over all the time. He always seemed to use "being drunk" as an excuse not to come over.
One day i went to his house and he was working on a car, Now he told me to come over, it was not a surprise to him. He spent the whole time i was there, working on this car that was not even his. Um hello i am here to see you (not under a car).

well it eventully ended, we both knew it was coming. We said goodbye to each other (we knew it was the last time we were going to see eachother) and went our seperate ways.

4. "Hi, Im cute"
And he was! But again we all know the end of this story. I got screwed over again. I had specificly asked him if he liked me, and he told me he did. Then he changed his mind and everything was tossed out the window of his Toyota Corolla. we managed to stay friends!

5. "Dance with me"
I didn't even think about this guy as something really, we were dancing one night outside, he was singing the music (we were obviously drunk) and people started chanting "KISS HER" So he did. Another day he just came up and kissed me. We eventually were talking one night, i went over to his room stuff happend then he didn't talk to me for 5 months or something like that. I don't even know

This is were it just gets worse, you might want to close your eyes!

6. "ADHD"
A one night thing i hardly want to remember. Nothing like what your thinking! but i don't even know what i was thinking. I left the room because he wouldn't stop bugging me. and after that he spent the next few months trying to rub some other girl in my face. I didn't care about him but he wanted me to be pissed that he was with someone else. He would purposly talk about me when i was in the same room, just not beside him.

7. "Can I put my laundry in your room"
friday night, nothing going on. i was on the prowl and i had seen a cute guy down the other hall. He eventually came runnig down my hall and into my room. he seemed to have been in a water fight and was running for cover. He left his laundry in my room, so i thought for a while. When he came back i asked him if he wanted to see a movie or something. Afirmative! we watched fight club, things got out of control and bam! One more mistake, I think he is the one (ya right) we had a couple more nice nights, then he turned the switch and goodbye nice guy hello Fuck ass from hell. It was definetly a rage relationship. after that i didn't see him for a long while, then he would reel me back in for another round of mind games and spit me back out. This happened 2 more times to my recollection. I realized what he was doing (s l o w, i know) and then dropped it like it was hot (lol).

8. "Sexy Italian man"
Random, that explains him. we started off friends, but this quickly elevated into more. i though he was perfect for me. We had so much in common, and he listened to my crazy rambling.
#7 comes back in to get another booty call - shot him down finally (and it felt good!)
then he played the, i am still inlove with another girl and i will always love her no matter what card. SHHHHIITTTTTT. We still fooled around a bit then it just kinda ended when. He didn't want to hurt me, but it was to late that had alreay happened.

9. "i like the OC too"
I Met this guy at AJ's hanger, he danced with me all night, bought me beer and was so sweet. When i left the club that night he came and found me and kissed me goodbye. He came to visit me the next night, i was shocked. He loved the OC and he seemed to like me alot. He told me that when he saw me on the dance floor, he told all his friends that the was the girl he wanted to dance with of everyone there. Not much happened between me and him, but i heard afterward that he spread roomers that we had sex! what a jerk. And supposedly he had a girlfriend to, oh even better!

10. "in progress"
So far i am liking it, he made me dinner, and has been ever so sweet. I think he is just an all around awesome guy. And there is someting strange that is really attracting me to him. One problem as arisen but i don't know anymore, it will figure it self out i hope . Ex girlfriends are the most evil things in the world - who ever you are, why are you so cruel to him?



...................... don't leave me alone