For the last week i have been a total wreck!
I have been doing some much studying lately, my brain can't take it anymore. To tell you the truth i have never been a person to study .....AT ALL! when i came here i thought maybe i could get by on a pretty face (you know im only kidding). But i have realized that i don't know everything so studying is necassary! YEs i said it, i study now. I never thought i would. but as a result of all the cramming for the last week i have retained nothing of what i wrote down on my exams. Well that doesn't really matter because im done that shit.
I have been faced with some kinda ify news (on several different occasions). I guess i am just trying to figure out how to deal with this kind of crap. I never used to be very independent but i see that living on your own kinda forces independence upon one's self. So of all the bad news i have been getting lately ....oh ya and not showing up to clinical yesterday Ouch! That was a quick save. My wrist was hurt at the most convientent time i must say....im not lieing i swear! I have been doing all right!
Last night i spent 3 hours in my car with christian, we talked about so much shit. He really made me see what kinda person i was and i think i have definetly changed alot since ive been here. I feel alot stronger, i have to deal with problems on my own now. Things don't piss me off as much anymore either, i feel like the world is out there for me to explore if i want, its not going anywhere. So i guess i should take my time.
I am deffinetly thinking that there needs to be more attendage to beirut. And now that i have finished 4 out of the 5 exams i can let go and just party my little heart out. A weight has been lifted from my ever so tired shoulders...now all i have to do is see what my accountability mark is! thats what its riding on. One stupid class,and if i don't pass i am going to be so pissed that i won't even have words to say what i feel. Man i passed pharm, and if i fail account that just shows how bad of a Professor heather is. She should have professor striped from her name!
Well i am sitting now wondering if i should get off my lazy ass and go and check the marks see if they are up and maybe write them down so i can tell my mom how smart i am. I have my speech planned out, And it sounds so good in my head i can't wait till she comes up here for my move in date, oh the sweetness!
ok ill be back in about 5min .......
back and no the marks are not posted yet but supposedly they should be by 3:00 o'clock. Guess where i am gonna be at 3? hehehe
well i am really tired, i should take a nap. Fuckin 3 days of freedom YESSSS
~hill says peace
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