Well i am finally back at home after being a way for more then a month. I have missed it alot.
My Cat has become ill. He was supposedly in a brutal fight with some other cat and the other cat bit him on the ass. Now my cat has this huge gross abses on his ass and it smells EWWWW. He is now locked in the bathroom because he smells so bad and plus if we let him out it will get infected even worse i guess. The poor guy, he is probably in hell right now because of the smell.
The drive was a long one to back here, this morning i woke up at 6 with the worst headache ever in the world. It was like my head was going to explode. i took some advil and put a cold pack on my head and fell back to sleep. i awoke again at 8 and d got ready for the long trek back. I was not looking forward to it at all.
Last night i think i may have drank alittle to much. I was a mess and a half, but i got alot of things straightend out. It was like that huge climax at the end of the movie, And then everything was ok!
I think i will have my computer fixed soon, now the msn won't work. Aww hell!
The cottage was great this weekend, we finally stayed the night. Had a fire and sparklers all thanks to scott. Pancake breakfast it was good, i even caught a turtle. It was pretty nice.
I didn't' even mention Bon Echo i will later i don't have time now
Bye all
Tuesday, June 28
Sunday, June 26
it can't change
today i sit here thinking to my self why am i not happy. I am not happy for my own reasons. Everyone has one thing in their head that they want, its one thing that they would give everyhting else for. I have realized what mine is today, and thats why i am sad. My "thing" could be easy to obtain, very easy, but i have my specifications; like everyone else in this world we all want different things, but we all want something.
I sit and wonder if its worth it to go on living with what i don't have. That may sound selfish, but what i want i cannot buy, i can not bargin, i cannot steal. I must obtain it with patience. Here is were the problem is, i don't have patience. Well not much. my emotions are blown out of proportion very quickly. I feel, i need, and i act ! My problem.
If you wonder why i a not stating what i want, well because anyone can do that, and with that they might get what they want. But i am not going to search for it because, then it is not what i want, it shall find me. It may take my whole life, and as i lie down on my death bed i will see it reach for me and then i could die in peace, i can die knowing i am dieing for what i searched for. It may seem to you like i am crazy and that just maybe, but until i am actually stamped CRAZY. I will go on living like i am not. I am just like any other person, looking for my lost keys, cleaning my messy house, brushing my teeth, Staring at the empty bed.
Life has no meaning.
Why you ask, do i come to this assumption? Well did you get a mission card when you were borne? Cause i sure didn't. We are all here just living on this plant earth for no reason, then we die. So why do people work their whole life away doing the things that make life hell? MONEY, its all about money. Personally i wish that i didn't live here on this earth. Its so sad, everywhere you look there is sadness, people dieing.
AHHHHHHH
anyway life is meaningless, so that means nothing really matter! Where you work, what time you arrive, your name, your shoes, your pen, your watch, your ring your hair. every small thing around you doesn't matter because when you die it won't be there anymore. you work so hard just to die, why is this. Balance is the word that will make you happy.
Good ~ Evil
Hate ~ Love
Work ~ Play
Dead ~ Alive
Win ~ Lose
to much of one throws off the balance.
heres where it gets interesting. balance does not mean an even amount on both sides. Its all about the balance in proportion to you. everyone is different
The one thing that can make this meaningless stay on earth actually enjoyable Balance
Stay tuned for the balance test see what you need in your life to create balance
I sit and wonder if its worth it to go on living with what i don't have. That may sound selfish, but what i want i cannot buy, i can not bargin, i cannot steal. I must obtain it with patience. Here is were the problem is, i don't have patience. Well not much. my emotions are blown out of proportion very quickly. I feel, i need, and i act ! My problem.
If you wonder why i a not stating what i want, well because anyone can do that, and with that they might get what they want. But i am not going to search for it because, then it is not what i want, it shall find me. It may take my whole life, and as i lie down on my death bed i will see it reach for me and then i could die in peace, i can die knowing i am dieing for what i searched for. It may seem to you like i am crazy and that just maybe, but until i am actually stamped CRAZY. I will go on living like i am not. I am just like any other person, looking for my lost keys, cleaning my messy house, brushing my teeth, Staring at the empty bed.
Life has no meaning.
Why you ask, do i come to this assumption? Well did you get a mission card when you were borne? Cause i sure didn't. We are all here just living on this plant earth for no reason, then we die. So why do people work their whole life away doing the things that make life hell? MONEY, its all about money. Personally i wish that i didn't live here on this earth. Its so sad, everywhere you look there is sadness, people dieing.
AHHHHHHH
anyway life is meaningless, so that means nothing really matter! Where you work, what time you arrive, your name, your shoes, your pen, your watch, your ring your hair. every small thing around you doesn't matter because when you die it won't be there anymore. you work so hard just to die, why is this. Balance is the word that will make you happy.
Good ~ Evil
Hate ~ Love
Work ~ Play
Dead ~ Alive
Win ~ Lose
to much of one throws off the balance.
heres where it gets interesting. balance does not mean an even amount on both sides. Its all about the balance in proportion to you. everyone is different
The one thing that can make this meaningless stay on earth actually enjoyable Balance
Stay tuned for the balance test see what you need in your life to create balance
Thursday, June 23
Can anyone out there help me ?
I am having a large problem with my web browser, of what i have seen dallas' doesn't work either. We are on a router, if that helps any. I can go to only a few certain web addresses like for example this one. But i can not view anyones blogs not even my own. well if you think you can help just leave me a message!
I had the craziest dream last night:
I was working at Mcdonald's and i started school again. I had crazy hours that i had to work atthe hospital like 10pm at night to like 8 in the morning. And i had to miss work because of some stupid classes. I thought i had been fired or soemthing from work. It does not seem scary now but it did at the time
I had the craziest dream last night:
I was working at Mcdonald's and i started school again. I had crazy hours that i had to work atthe hospital like 10pm at night to like 8 in the morning. And i had to miss work because of some stupid classes. I thought i had been fired or soemthing from work. It does not seem scary now but it did at the time
Wednesday, June 22
NEW! update - The House from Hell
Well today i woke up feeling like crap in a doggy bag. For some reason i am now sick, I am wondering what may have caused this formality. I have also noticed that i have been losing weight at an alarming rate. I am not worried right now because i like the fact, but i feel in the near future i will have to take it as a concern. I think i will eat more healthy food, i assume that this will be a problem though, as you all know i do work at the well know establishment, McDonald's. Cutting out this diet would be very good for my health, although, surprisingly i have fallen deeply in love with the double cheese burger. Enough of this nonsense talk. Back to my topic >>>>
My House, otherwise known as the house from hell.....
I will number all the problems that have gone wrong since day one
1. Phone jacks did not work in all rooms, we went over a week with out a phone in our wonderful house to then find out that it was not the problem of the jacks not working but only certain "one" worked. Now my mission was to find that jack. And where did we find it in the last room we checked ....Lindsay's room. We called mark to come and fix this problem (mark being our landlord) He connected all the jacks and left. When i came home to test out my new "JACK" to my dismay it was not working. A call so mark would fix this problem. Oh and guess what i heard on the line as a attempted to contact him, The operator! She was talking and saying that the line was not working, yet i could hear the ring and then mark answered "well hello mark, can you hear that lady talking loudly over us" he replies "yes, thats strange i guess i must come and fix it". well at least he is ontop of things. Problem Fixed
2. Just having to live without the phone was bad enough but there was also no internet or cable and it took a week and a half for cogeco to come and hook it up. Once internet was hooked up, a router needed to be purchased. Until then I was going to connect my computer with the Ethernet cable. With my luck the Ethernet jack did not function. This was found out the hard way (matt came over to hook it up for me and tested all the connections from his laptop. Thank the devil I have wireless! problem not fixed
3. Toilet, Yes the toilet is a piece of crap, the thing constantly runs and I can hear it loud and clear from my room. Nobody up stairs really notices, which sucks even more for me, because if I want it to stop I have to go upstairs and fix it myself. Again mark was called. He came and assessed the problem. Back the next day with a replacement part. Problem fixed.....Or so you think so. This toilet is evil I say. It still continues to act like it is broken, running again. Now the most evil deed it has done so far is over flow when nothing was there to clog it and drench our house in a sewage smell. I, mainly am stuck with the smell because im downstairs, and we all know the rules of gravity. Mark is called again. oh and you know what happened, the toilet is now not broken. Its perfectly fine. what a bitch.
4. Mould - in the bathroom since we have been there. Why was this not noticed before we moved in? I am not sure but again the problem will be fixed eventually!
5. Miranda hammered a nail into the pipe in the shower down stairs, well not my problem. but, did become mine once mark told me that i can no longer use my shower until the problem is fixed. Plumbers must be called and so on and so on. Problem fixed.
6. Ants, those dirty little bastards are crawling around our house like thy own the place. Where did they come from? have they always been a problem? Why were we not warned about this? So today i took it upon myself to correct this problem by buying any traps. Now i don't like killing wild life, but when it invades my home, i must kill it!Problem Fixed
7. Our stove is a piece of shit, its burners like to take turns in not working right. when you cook food its like playing Russian roulette. Problem not fixed
9. The fridge likes to cry a lot, or at least i think that why there is always water all around it. the problem has not been fixed but i highly doubt its much of a problem.
10. No hot water, you have to be fucking with me. My shower downstairs has no hot water, or at least thats what i thought. I found out that who ever installed the shower is a moron because the cold is HOT! and the hot is luck warm. Problem fixed.
i have been informed that scott must retire to his bed soon. I will commence later!!!
11. Those damn raccoons won't leave my garbage alone. Every night even if it is in the plastic garbage can thing that locks. They will ravage it until it is knocked over, and when this happens the lid pops off and what do you know garbage at their finger tips. I have now tied my garbage can to the fence, and tested its security. I think that they will need to naw through that rope to knock it down again, if this happens i have a plan "B"
Plan "B" - The peanut butter sandwich ...with rat poison in it. I think this my fix my problem for good. AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA, then i will put their bodies in a garbage bag and throw them in the lake to get rid of the evidence! Problem Fixed
12. Noise complaints from my next Door neighbor, suck it up you bitchs! thats all i have to say. they have woken me up pn many occasions in the morning, do i go over and yell at them for being to noisy, No. Problem not fixed
13. the window in the kitchen leeks
14. the carpet is nasty dirty from before we came here.
15. Broken rain gutters
Well for now that is all.
My House, otherwise known as the house from hell.....
I will number all the problems that have gone wrong since day one
1. Phone jacks did not work in all rooms, we went over a week with out a phone in our wonderful house to then find out that it was not the problem of the jacks not working but only certain "one" worked. Now my mission was to find that jack. And where did we find it in the last room we checked ....Lindsay's room. We called mark to come and fix this problem (mark being our landlord) He connected all the jacks and left. When i came home to test out my new "JACK" to my dismay it was not working. A call so mark would fix this problem. Oh and guess what i heard on the line as a attempted to contact him, The operator! She was talking and saying that the line was not working, yet i could hear the ring and then mark answered "well hello mark, can you hear that lady talking loudly over us" he replies "yes, thats strange i guess i must come and fix it". well at least he is ontop of things. Problem Fixed
2. Just having to live without the phone was bad enough but there was also no internet or cable and it took a week and a half for cogeco to come and hook it up. Once internet was hooked up, a router needed to be purchased. Until then I was going to connect my computer with the Ethernet cable. With my luck the Ethernet jack did not function. This was found out the hard way (matt came over to hook it up for me and tested all the connections from his laptop. Thank the devil I have wireless! problem not fixed
3. Toilet, Yes the toilet is a piece of crap, the thing constantly runs and I can hear it loud and clear from my room. Nobody up stairs really notices, which sucks even more for me, because if I want it to stop I have to go upstairs and fix it myself. Again mark was called. He came and assessed the problem. Back the next day with a replacement part. Problem fixed.....Or so you think so. This toilet is evil I say. It still continues to act like it is broken, running again. Now the most evil deed it has done so far is over flow when nothing was there to clog it and drench our house in a sewage smell. I, mainly am stuck with the smell because im downstairs, and we all know the rules of gravity. Mark is called again. oh and you know what happened, the toilet is now not broken. Its perfectly fine. what a bitch.
4. Mould - in the bathroom since we have been there. Why was this not noticed before we moved in? I am not sure but again the problem will be fixed eventually!
5. Miranda hammered a nail into the pipe in the shower down stairs, well not my problem. but, did become mine once mark told me that i can no longer use my shower until the problem is fixed. Plumbers must be called and so on and so on. Problem fixed.
6. Ants, those dirty little bastards are crawling around our house like thy own the place. Where did they come from? have they always been a problem? Why were we not warned about this? So today i took it upon myself to correct this problem by buying any traps. Now i don't like killing wild life, but when it invades my home, i must kill it!Problem Fixed
7. Our stove is a piece of shit, its burners like to take turns in not working right. when you cook food its like playing Russian roulette. Problem not fixed
9. The fridge likes to cry a lot, or at least i think that why there is always water all around it. the problem has not been fixed but i highly doubt its much of a problem.
10. No hot water, you have to be fucking with me. My shower downstairs has no hot water, or at least thats what i thought. I found out that who ever installed the shower is a moron because the cold is HOT! and the hot is luck warm. Problem fixed.
i have been informed that scott must retire to his bed soon. I will commence later!!!
11. Those damn raccoons won't leave my garbage alone. Every night even if it is in the plastic garbage can thing that locks. They will ravage it until it is knocked over, and when this happens the lid pops off and what do you know garbage at their finger tips. I have now tied my garbage can to the fence, and tested its security. I think that they will need to naw through that rope to knock it down again, if this happens i have a plan "B"
Plan "B" - The peanut butter sandwich ...with rat poison in it. I think this my fix my problem for good. AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA, then i will put their bodies in a garbage bag and throw them in the lake to get rid of the evidence! Problem Fixed
12. Noise complaints from my next Door neighbor, suck it up you bitchs! thats all i have to say. they have woken me up pn many occasions in the morning, do i go over and yell at them for being to noisy, No. Problem not fixed
13. the window in the kitchen leeks
14. the carpet is nasty dirty from before we came here.
15. Broken rain gutters
Well for now that is all.
iPod i hate you sometimes
Today i went outside to tan and to my dismay i found out that my iPod is fucked. The menu button doesn't work at all. So i called Apple to see what they can do, i ended up spending 103 dollars, This is so that i can send it to them for free and have another 2 years on it (for free my ass) it hink they put little self destruct timers in them, and right after the warrennty is up they go off. I am very anger right now. I find this so inconvenient because, if it had happened 1 week prior, then i would not have to buy this warranty and i would not have had to pay shipping.
I have now titled myself MD - miss destructo! it sound good at first eh, like i am a doctor or something. But no i am just a girl who destroys everything she touches.
anyway my internet is also fucked right now, i am very frustrated because i can't go on any website because it says the web address is wrong.
But i am happy cause i killed all those goddamn ants in my house
I have now titled myself MD - miss destructo! it sound good at first eh, like i am a doctor or something. But no i am just a girl who destroys everything she touches.
anyway my internet is also fucked right now, i am very frustrated because i can't go on any website because it says the web address is wrong.
But i am happy cause i killed all those goddamn ants in my house
Saturday, June 18
i actually work
So the last couple days i have been picking up some crazy hours for work, i will finally have some money! Now sunday is supposed to be cottage day at polands, not sure yet though. Man i will be so sad if its not though, i wanna get trasheder then last time. Do some more drunk canoing hehe. No knife this time, that was just to weird.
More fishing needs to be done too, i have only caught one fish so far, that is not enough.
Oh and don't forget POKER - just call me BANCO hehe!
your all going down
i hope its sunny this time around!
OH YES HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DADDY ~ i love you so much! your the best dad i ever had lol (did anyone catch that?)
(I WON AND YOU KNOW IT :) )
Oh man i saw this guy this morning out side McDonalds, he was putting whisky into his coffee ( he was on one of those scooter things too), ANd not just a little bit but alot. Funny old men, there was also a gay pride paraide, so there were tons of gay people coming in. And sometimes people have the weirdest things in their face or growing on their face and i don't know how to look at them (they look me in the eyes like they are testing me to see if they can get a reaction) its scary! I thought when i worked at wendy's i had seen everything, not a chance. People in kingston are so fucked! hahaha oh i am so mean look at me making funny of all these people when i am the one serving them LOL. Ahhh whatever, i don't care, it amuses me!
~until next time
More fishing needs to be done too, i have only caught one fish so far, that is not enough.
Oh and don't forget POKER - just call me BANCO hehe!
your all going down
i hope its sunny this time around!
OH YES HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DADDY ~ i love you so much! your the best dad i ever had lol (did anyone catch that?)
(I WON AND YOU KNOW IT :) )
Oh man i saw this guy this morning out side McDonalds, he was putting whisky into his coffee ( he was on one of those scooter things too), ANd not just a little bit but alot. Funny old men, there was also a gay pride paraide, so there were tons of gay people coming in. And sometimes people have the weirdest things in their face or growing on their face and i don't know how to look at them (they look me in the eyes like they are testing me to see if they can get a reaction) its scary! I thought when i worked at wendy's i had seen everything, not a chance. People in kingston are so fucked! hahaha oh i am so mean look at me making funny of all these people when i am the one serving them LOL. Ahhh whatever, i don't care, it amuses me!
~until next time
Friday, June 17
drum drum drum
All i can smell right now is the fresh sent of flowers filling my room. Its the most splendid feeling ever. Tonigght was awesome, went to kori's and banged on his drums for a while. I love drums they are so cool, i know i can't play worth a crap but its amazing. I am always druming to music in my car ...well anywhere and my foot goes crazy, i love it. I was thinking about selling my guitar and just taking up druming instead. Ha ha then my mom would be right, i give up on everything i do. Must PROVE ..MOTHER ..WRONG.
Well i miss sarah already, why did she leave me again. I never get to see her. well the legs are still itchy as hell but that s ok i am going to go to the cottage again this monday and party hard, even if it means getting tons of bites. I am a champ, NOT!
I complain way to much, i think i am going to try and not complain about anything, even the really crappy drivers in kingston! Thats going to be my mission for the next little while. It should keep my mind off other affairs!
I HUNGER FOR YOUR TOUCH ALONE!
I think i am gonna hit the sack, NIGHT PEEPS LOL
TYLER stop calling me H
Well i miss sarah already, why did she leave me again. I never get to see her. well the legs are still itchy as hell but that s ok i am going to go to the cottage again this monday and party hard, even if it means getting tons of bites. I am a champ, NOT!
I complain way to much, i think i am going to try and not complain about anything, even the really crappy drivers in kingston! Thats going to be my mission for the next little while. It should keep my mind off other affairs!
I HUNGER FOR YOUR TOUCH ALONE!
I think i am gonna hit the sack, NIGHT PEEPS LOL
TYLER stop calling me H
Thursday, June 16
today was kinda a bust
I slept in till like 1230 or somethin, It was nice today, it rained abit, but what ever hahaha. I cleaned the house like crazy. I was down on my hands and knees scubbin away i feel better now that i have actually done someting with my time. I find it really hard to do nothing all day. I feel like i am wasting my time.
Laura came up tonight, she was only here for a little while. Tyler and Poland made a visit, we played Eucker, Me and Poland Won "team 17" Yahhh. So i am very itchy rightnow
well anyway i am goign to watch my stolen copy of i heart huckabees HAHAHAHAHA
In your face polish!!!!!!!!
good night
Laura came up tonight, she was only here for a little while. Tyler and Poland made a visit, we played Eucker, Me and Poland Won "team 17" Yahhh. So i am very itchy rightnow
well anyway i am goign to watch my stolen copy of i heart huckabees HAHAHAHAHA
In your face polish!!!!!!!!
good night
Wednesday, June 15
Tuesday, June 14
I don't know what I want
I have been trying to figure out what I really want, but I can't I don't know its just as much a mystery to me as it is to whom ever reads this. I find myself lost in my own mind, thinking hard about whats out there for me, but then when I see it I don't want it. I wanted the unreachable, I want what I will never be able to have or hold on to.
I have lost all hope that I will ever be happy, but now that I realize hope is nothing I don't feel so bad. I think hope is a word people use to much, like GOD AND JESUS, Religion, in my eyes its the centre of all evil. It determines what is good and bad by putting a stamp on everything. I want to live my life and feel like I have lived well. I will not be told what i can and can't do. I don't want to die knowing there are things I never got to do.
My Passion is not for the future, is not for the past, is not for memories, its for today, this hour, this minute, this second! I will live like life was unbreakable, like i could never die!
I am human, but i will live like a god!
I have lost all hope that I will ever be happy, but now that I realize hope is nothing I don't feel so bad. I think hope is a word people use to much, like GOD AND JESUS, Religion, in my eyes its the centre of all evil. It determines what is good and bad by putting a stamp on everything. I want to live my life and feel like I have lived well. I will not be told what i can and can't do. I don't want to die knowing there are things I never got to do.
My Passion is not for the future, is not for the past, is not for memories, its for today, this hour, this minute, this second! I will live like life was unbreakable, like i could never die!
I am human, but i will live like a god!
Monday, June 13
I know i can't spell
Have you read the rest of my blog?
I know that i cannot spell! I have always been a fuckin horrid speller ok!
If you really knew me, you would know that!
Thanks anyway and hey just thought I'd let you know how to spell Stalker !
I know that i cannot spell! I have always been a fuckin horrid speller ok!
If you really knew me, you would know that!
Thanks anyway and hey just thought I'd let you know how to spell Stalker !
Sunday, June 12
I have hurt my friend!
Sarah i am so sorry, I really am. I didn't mean to push you so hard. It was the alcohol.
Last night Sarah, Kevin, Scott and I went out to the bars. Before we even got to the first bar. I had pushed Sarah to the ground. I had not realized how hard a pushed her.
The reason(even though it is not an excuse)
I thought she called me a Lesbian, and jokingly, I pretended to pick a fight with her. That's were I fucked up again.
Her Knee arm and foot were scratched pretty bad. But Sarah being the BIGGEST TROOPER ever Trucked on and hit all the bars with us.
I am so proud to call you my friend Sarah ..YOU ROCK
Sarah i am so sorry, I really am. I didn't mean to push you so hard. It was the alcohol.
Last night Sarah, Kevin, Scott and I went out to the bars. Before we even got to the first bar. I had pushed Sarah to the ground. I had not realized how hard a pushed her.
The reason(even though it is not an excuse)
I thought she called me a Lesbian, and jokingly, I pretended to pick a fight with her. That's were I fucked up again.
Her Knee arm and foot were scratched pretty bad. But Sarah being the BIGGEST TROOPER ever Trucked on and hit all the bars with us.
I am so proud to call you my friend Sarah ..YOU ROCK
Friday, June 10
If i could be a FLOWER
ok i am so pissed i just spent like half an hour writting this perfect blog and it just got fucked away. AHHHHHHHHHH
The flowers that i have been waiting a month for have finally bloomed. And they are beautiful, nothing can be recreated like them. I think its my favorite flower ever because they are beautiful, but wild and just have so much personality. I think if i were a flower i would want to be the Peony i will enclose a picture if it is possible
well i have found out that Sarah is coming down tonight, i thought that she wouldn't be coming, but she battled the parental war and won! Fuckin right!
I am an enviro freak, and i don't like the world around me now. Its so man made it makes me sick. all those people who don't care can go jump in their filthy garbage pits, they don't realize that they are destroying this world for themselves, their children and their children's children,. Hello people there is nowhere to go once you break earth (break is a perfect world because breaking something means it won't work properly anymore)Wake up people and seriously smell the flowers, cause they smell good, and at this rate they wont be around for long.
Ok i found the blog that i thought got fucked away, so if anything sounds repeated it probably is but i don't want to erase anything so deal with it
hill@ry
The flowers that i have been waiting a month for have finally bloomed. And they are beautiful, nothing can be recreated like them. I think its my favorite flower ever because they are beautiful, but wild and just have so much personality. I think if i were a flower i would want to be the Peony i will enclose a picture if it is possible
well i have found out that Sarah is coming down tonight, i thought that she wouldn't be coming, but she battled the parental war and won! Fuckin right!
I am an enviro freak, and i don't like the world around me now. Its so man made it makes me sick. all those people who don't care can go jump in their filthy garbage pits, they don't realize that they are destroying this world for themselves, their children and their children's children,. Hello people there is nowhere to go once you break earth (break is a perfect world because breaking something means it won't work properly anymore)Wake up people and seriously smell the flowers, cause they smell good, and at this rate they wont be around for long.
Ok i found the blog that i thought got fucked away, so if anything sounds repeated it probably is but i don't want to erase anything so deal with it
hill@ry
Birthday Shout outs
LEanne Roper June 6th wooooooo your 16 now Happy birthday Girly
William Mason June 10th , 20 your gettin old, better start a retairment plan
Mike Ryan June 21st, humm i m not sure how old you are, but i guess 25, OH THATS OLD
Janis Veneziale June 25TH I LOVE YOU MOM, 49 eh and your still beautiful
William Mason June 10th , 20 your gettin old, better start a retairment plan
Mike Ryan June 21st, humm i m not sure how old you are, but i guess 25, OH THATS OLD
Janis Veneziale June 25TH I LOVE YOU MOM, 49 eh and your still beautiful
Its almost a dream
Last night was awesome. no other words can describe it.
I left Adas and scotts place, them following behind me. I ran down the street it seemed to me like i was in the game i had been playing all night. I wanted to steal a guys bike and take off some where. As i was walking by this one car i saw the guys window was open so i looked in and said HI, i was drinking a tim hortons coffee so i asked him how it was. He told me that it was good! Then i took off like a bat out of hell running frantically down the street.
When i eventually stopped to catch my breath, i looked back and scoot and Das were nowhere to be seen. I kept running and finally got to Alanna's apt. We chilled out there for a while, watched some TV and chatted it up! I was very drunk NOw, very very drunk and half my 26er was gone:(
When left Alanna's (i don't remember what time it was) and went back to Adas and Scotts. PLayed more SA. Then it started raining, that was the awesome part.
I ran out side into the middle of the road and looked up at the sky, it was perfect. The rain was so refreshing. We were standing in the middle of the road drinking my rum. Then i had a water fight with scott, and me and him took a walk around the block. Thats when i stole a fisher Price CAR. I took it back to Das' house, he was not impressed LOL. I guess in my mind it was just an amazing feeling to be so free!
Oh yes and i also fell off a fire hydrant. Landed right on my ass on the sidewalk. That hurt like a bitch.
Now i am just sitting in my room, i tryed to watch the new amityville horror MOVIE, way to scary to be watching alone. I knew it was going to be good though, i had this really strong feeling when i heard it was coming out. I have been waiting to watch it for a long time, but now i have to wait more cause i can't watch it alone. SOOOOO if you wannna watch it with me, just let me know!
well i think i am gonna watch another movie!!!
I left Adas and scotts place, them following behind me. I ran down the street it seemed to me like i was in the game i had been playing all night. I wanted to steal a guys bike and take off some where. As i was walking by this one car i saw the guys window was open so i looked in and said HI, i was drinking a tim hortons coffee so i asked him how it was. He told me that it was good! Then i took off like a bat out of hell running frantically down the street.
When i eventually stopped to catch my breath, i looked back and scoot and Das were nowhere to be seen. I kept running and finally got to Alanna's apt. We chilled out there for a while, watched some TV and chatted it up! I was very drunk NOw, very very drunk and half my 26er was gone:(
When left Alanna's (i don't remember what time it was) and went back to Adas and Scotts. PLayed more SA. Then it started raining, that was the awesome part.
I ran out side into the middle of the road and looked up at the sky, it was perfect. The rain was so refreshing. We were standing in the middle of the road drinking my rum. Then i had a water fight with scott, and me and him took a walk around the block. Thats when i stole a fisher Price CAR. I took it back to Das' house, he was not impressed LOL. I guess in my mind it was just an amazing feeling to be so free!
Oh yes and i also fell off a fire hydrant. Landed right on my ass on the sidewalk. That hurt like a bitch.
Now i am just sitting in my room, i tryed to watch the new amityville horror MOVIE, way to scary to be watching alone. I knew it was going to be good though, i had this really strong feeling when i heard it was coming out. I have been waiting to watch it for a long time, but now i have to wait more cause i can't watch it alone. SOOOOO if you wannna watch it with me, just let me know!
well i think i am gonna watch another movie!!!
So I was just reading something that matt wrote in his blog! Very interesting, even though I know this Prussia bombing thing is a joke it really sounds like he is out to get them, Like a super secret spy or something, quite funny I say. I think Iam gonna do a little comic about it, or a story. It has potential to be very sweet! I have just installed my new door knob with lock, now I can lock my door when I go out. It makes me happy that I can do this type of stuff. I love having my mothers blood running through me. Now I know it sounds dumb, anyone can install a door knob - but that's not true "there are people out there that would shock the sox off you". Anyway finally those flowers came up in the front garden, and they are just as beautiful as I thought they would be. I cut a few and put them in the kitchen. BEAUTIFUL ah whets wrong with me, I don't understand, I have become a flower freak! well sorry about that, maybe its just new parts of me that are starting to show through.
Oh like the other day I was cleaning the fridge out and I found a ton of food that was long past their expiry dates, so I was throwing them in the compost(my idea) and when I pulled the compost out from under the sink, I saw that someone had thrown a plastic bread bag in it, I pulled it out and looked at JAckie and Said "dude this isn't biodegradable ". I am picking through the garbage for plastic and cardboard that can be recycled. What a crazy enviro freak I am! Oh well I like me for who I am and if anyone has a problem, they can go jump in their filthy garbage dump that they are making by not taking care of our environment . YOU BASTARDS your only screwing up you and your children and your children's children's lives. It will be like Star wars, no trees just green plastic watering cans and fake plastic trees.
My feet are dirty. I need to go have a shower. All that running around last night in my bare feet, I would love to be able to go every where in my feet (no shoes) be one with the earth!
Oh like the other day I was cleaning the fridge out and I found a ton of food that was long past their expiry dates, so I was throwing them in the compost(my idea) and when I pulled the compost out from under the sink, I saw that someone had thrown a plastic bread bag in it, I pulled it out and looked at JAckie and Said "dude this isn't biodegradable ". I am picking through the garbage for plastic and cardboard that can be recycled. What a crazy enviro freak I am! Oh well I like me for who I am and if anyone has a problem, they can go jump in their filthy garbage dump that they are making by not taking care of our environment . YOU BASTARDS your only screwing up you and your children and your children's children's lives. It will be like Star wars, no trees just green plastic watering cans and fake plastic trees.
My feet are dirty. I need to go have a shower. All that running around last night in my bare feet, I would love to be able to go every where in my feet (no shoes) be one with the earth!
Wednesday, June 8
Everyone might be right
I think its time that i move on. Everything is pointing to yes, well everything except my heart. I think if i give up i might miss something. I have always felt that way. Ill be waiting for someone and they won't show up, but i keep waiting thinking that the moment i leave they will show up and i will be gone. Losing my chance for something (not sure what it is) maybe eternal happeness. I really don't know what. But i know i am scared to let things go, afraid that they may be my only chance to find what i am looking for.
Anyway i went to dinner and a movie with jackie tonight, the dinner was good, but way to much cheese was consumed ( i am paying for it right now). Then we ran to the movies, we went to see "The Sisterhood of The Travelling pants" it was a good movie and it helped me realize some things that i need to figure out.
The night was good, the conversation was good, the food was good, and the movie was great
i give it a 4**** Rating
Anyway i went to dinner and a movie with jackie tonight, the dinner was good, but way to much cheese was consumed ( i am paying for it right now). Then we ran to the movies, we went to see "The Sisterhood of The Travelling pants" it was a good movie and it helped me realize some things that i need to figure out.
The night was good, the conversation was good, the food was good, and the movie was great
i give it a 4**** Rating
Tuesday, June 7
Rage against
i am the most frustrated i have ever been right now. I don't even think that school makes me so angry. I just have no where to turn and nothing to do about my problem , my heart falls for the least likely match and it sticks with it. Its a jerk to me is what it is. It tortures me and plays with my head. FUCK YOU i hate this bull shit
Thinking it over really hard
I have been thinking about alot of stuff in the last couple days. Its strange how everyone in the world is different yet the same at the same time. We are all our individual self and no one person is connected, but at times they can feel an emotion or thought at the same time someone else may be feeling it to connect for that spilt second.
we need to space our selves more, break away from all the drama. I guess you can call it taking a step back.
Ok i have just finished reading a very intresting thing, i feel that it is speaking to me to in a way. Its telling me not to give up on the person that i am, i wanna be able to trust people, but everytime i do i am hurt badly, emotionally i am wrung out. I have realized that caring for other people is what i do, i have let people walk all over me in the past. I won't let that happen anymore. I must do what i think is right. I will not be controlled by the popular mind.
I am thinking of things that i miss really bad. There are times where i get so anxious that i think im not going to make it past the moment, but then i do and i can go on living.
I have to much "what ifs" going on in my head, if one small step can change YOUR PATHWAY IN TIME! this mean we have no control , every step is a different direction but they all lead to the same place, we just don't know it yet.
I am experiencing that moment where there is nothing in my head to think off, i feel that i have no cares nothing to worry about. I have been doing it alot lately, i think to deal with this situation i am in. I know i shouldn't be spacing so much but it really does help. Right now though i think i am caring to little about whats going on around me.
I want someone to give me their hand and just tell me that they are going to be there for me, Give me that feeling that i am wanted by them. I want to take care of some one, and not just anyone - that perfect one ( not perfect in the literal term, but perfect in the term of fitting with me in love)
waiting for love.....i can wait if it means that ill be happy forever once i find it.
we need to space our selves more, break away from all the drama. I guess you can call it taking a step back.
Ok i have just finished reading a very intresting thing, i feel that it is speaking to me to in a way. Its telling me not to give up on the person that i am, i wanna be able to trust people, but everytime i do i am hurt badly, emotionally i am wrung out. I have realized that caring for other people is what i do, i have let people walk all over me in the past. I won't let that happen anymore. I must do what i think is right. I will not be controlled by the popular mind.
I am thinking of things that i miss really bad. There are times where i get so anxious that i think im not going to make it past the moment, but then i do and i can go on living.
I have to much "what ifs" going on in my head, if one small step can change YOUR PATHWAY IN TIME! this mean we have no control , every step is a different direction but they all lead to the same place, we just don't know it yet.
I am experiencing that moment where there is nothing in my head to think off, i feel that i have no cares nothing to worry about. I have been doing it alot lately, i think to deal with this situation i am in. I know i shouldn't be spacing so much but it really does help. Right now though i think i am caring to little about whats going on around me.
I want someone to give me their hand and just tell me that they are going to be there for me, Give me that feeling that i am wanted by them. I want to take care of some one, and not just anyone - that perfect one ( not perfect in the literal term, but perfect in the term of fitting with me in love)
waiting for love.....i can wait if it means that ill be happy forever once i find it.
Monday, June 6
What happened to BEIRUT
I am sad, there has been no more pics of beirut that have been posted. where is all the proof of the action .....
Friday, June 3
The Fire Glow
I love waking up in the morning, there is this incredible orange glow that floods my room in the morning when the sun shines in. Its really peaceful, i have been thinking alot about some certain things and talking to certain people and i need to make come small changes in my life, they may be small but i think they will have a huge impact on where my life takes me. RESPECT 4 myself , i think that is what i am lacking here.
Last night i went to see MOnster-in-law it was a pretty funny movie, i was pleassed with it. Then i went to Mybar last night, that was fun to. Jackie and me dressed up and went and played pool met some guys there and they bought us drinks. That was pretty cool .
Back to homeork ....
Last night i went to see MOnster-in-law it was a pretty funny movie, i was pleassed with it. Then i went to Mybar last night, that was fun to. Jackie and me dressed up and went and played pool met some guys there and they bought us drinks. That was pretty cool .
Back to homeork ....
lodestar
out of the night, into the water
we push the boat from shore
breaking the air and the stillness of the bay
intensity of stars reflected in the harbour
silently ignite
the oar dips into oil like water
and we are away
your hand won't write
not tonight
but your mind may wander
into those deep lagoons that you know
and your boat will go by starlight alone
da da da da da da da da
you sang to the moon
in the great black night
with no lodestar in sight
out of the night
out of the water
we pull the boat back to shore
breathe in the air and the stillness of the bay
intensity of stars reflected in the water
silently ignite
the oar dips into oil like water
and we are away
under the moon in the great black night
with no lodestar in sight
and wait for it
there are only two things now
this great black night
and the fireglow
and listen! the darkness rings
the darkness....
listen! the darkness rings
and wait for it
there are only two of us now
this great black night, scooped out
and this fireglow
listen! the darkness rings
the darkness...
listen! the darkness rings
take off your things
and listen!
the darkness rings
Thursday, June 2
Tyler don't touch my Boob
That would be me in the middle with the really retarded face
Scott on the right and Tyler on the left
hill@ry
Scott on the right and Tyler on the left
hill@ry
BOAT RIDE BABY
This was an awesome boat ride! The lake was so still, like glass and we just cut through it like butter. I can't wait till we go up again to Das' cottage, get some more boating in.
hill@ry
hill@ry
Howdi all its a great day to be alive
well I am so happy because i found out that a was living like a poor person for a month, when i really had 650 dollars sitting in my drawer. So what did i do, pay my visa off first of all and then i went shopping. Yes shopping, i have not done that in a long while. Went for a walk last night with Jackie (walked all the way to bath road and back) go0d for us! I washed my car and vacuumed it out so its all nice and clean now and then i did my homework.
Nice day it was yesterday. NOw today i think i am going to do a ton of laundry and tan a bit then do a little more homework, well alot more.
I am excited for the weekend, i hope i still get to go to Das's Cottage with him and some buddies, it would be wicked awesome!
Tryed to call my mom and dad last night no one there, then i rememberd that my mom is off on a trip and my dad doesn't know how to use the answering machine lol.
loving the world today
~hill
Nice day it was yesterday. NOw today i think i am going to do a ton of laundry and tan a bit then do a little more homework, well alot more.
I am excited for the weekend, i hope i still get to go to Das's Cottage with him and some buddies, it would be wicked awesome!
Tryed to call my mom and dad last night no one there, then i rememberd that my mom is off on a trip and my dad doesn't know how to use the answering machine lol.
loving the world today
~hill
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