I don't know what I want

I have been trying to figure out what I really want, but I can't I don't know its just as much a mystery to me as it is to whom ever reads this. I find myself lost in my own mind, thinking hard about whats out there for me, but then when I see it I don't want it. I wanted the unreachable, I want what I will never be able to have or hold on to.

I have lost all hope that I will ever be happy, but now that I realize hope is nothing I don't feel so bad. I think hope is a word people use to much, like GOD AND JESUS, Religion, in my eyes its the centre of all evil. It determines what is good and bad by putting a stamp on everything. I want to live my life and feel like I have lived well. I will not be told what i can and can't do. I don't want to die knowing there are things I never got to do.

My Passion is not for the future, is not for the past, is not for memories, its for today, this hour, this minute, this second! I will live like life was unbreakable, like i could never die!

I am human, but i will live like a god!