Because often depression is an appropriate reaction.

Because I think depression has something to tell me.
Because often depression is an appropriate reaction.
Because I am terrified of changing the function of my brain in anyway.
Because I believe that depression is"me".
Because I can't imagine my life without the time off I get from periodic depression.

"The Camera My Mother Gave Me" - Susanna Kaysen

This morning I woke up spontaneously at 6:02. When I woke up I didn't feel tired like I usually do, I felt energetic! When I noticed how early it was I decided to lay down for a little while and just rest though, because I knew it was gonna be a long day. I eventually got up again and started to get ready for the Orientation (bullshit). It was strange though, at 6:18 my alarm went off. At that point I had occurred to me that my alarm had not gone off at 6 when it should have (that was the time I had set it for), I re-checked it to see if I had made a mistake, and to my surprise I hadn't! With the strangeness swishing around in my mind, I began my ever so long day!

Caught a bus at 7:15 with Doominator and Team Asia! Got to Grant Hall at 7:30 (why to early in my opinion), campus was already swarming with students. Right when we got off the bus I saw two squirrels going at it. It was a good thing to see in the morning because it lightened my mood. We waited outside Grant Hall for another 20 minutes, finally being coerced into single file, so that a teacher could hand out pointless pieces of paper as we entered the building.

By this time I already wanted to go home, but I had brought some reading materials to keep me occupied. Just think of what I did today as sitting in a doctors office for 5hours. I read an entire book in this time.....but that was also after I read The Musings of a Misunderstood Brown man ( this morning when I realized how bored I was going to be, I started searching on the web for some good reading material and I realized I had not read his site in quite a while, so I printed up what I could and took it with me) I enjoyed it too, I few chuckles here and there, no to loud thought...There was an orientation going on! The book was called "The Camera my Mother gave Me" by Susanna Kaysen. Very different book from what I am used to reading, but interesting none-the-less. ( I strongly don't recommend this book to males!!!!!!!!!!)

So finally after the orientation was finished, Doominator, Team Asia, Kelly and me headed to the Police Station to pick up our CPIC's. Mine wasn't ready yet...dammit JANET!

We finally took a bus home and I got ready to take my iPod to Future Shop. Jbird came along with me . Good Company and I haven't seen her in a while, but the bad thing is she is sick and I'll probably get it now.

I get to future shop and the lady informs me that I can only do warranty stuff through Apple.Godammit. So a trip to future shop wasted. I got back home and called Apple, ahhhh. So the same thing again as last time. I still had to pay $45 shipping, and I found that to be bullshit. Oh and get this, they sent me a box last time right and I asked the lady if I could use that box:

Conversation:

Me: I have a box from last time, I could just use that right!
Apple Bitch: No I am sorry that box is invalid and can not be used again.
Me: Why the hell not that makes no sense, now I am gonna have to wait for that goddamn man to bring another box when I could send it in this one right now!
Apple Bitch: The box won't work anymore...Its invalid!

......

Me: so if I send it to you they will check it and repair it..or replace it if it can't be fixed.
Apple Bitch: Yes, but if its a software problem we can't do anything about it cause you don't have that kind of technical support so ....
Me: so your telling me they won't fix it.
Apple Bitch: Yes! and they will send it back to you.
Me: and what about the money it cost to ship it to you?
Apple Bitch: You don't get that back.
Me: WHATTTTT....That's ridiculous! ........So how do I fix the software problem?
Apple Bitch: Troubleshooting on the net.

that's when I got really mad!

My iPod isn't even functional, how the hell am I gonna fix it!!!!!!!!

Conclusion...APPLE SUCKS BALLS

This is were my quote comes in from the beginning of my blog! I think feeling sad is a natural feeling that everyone has the right to feel at anytime they think it necessary! Its a way to cope with stress, anger, fear and helpless/hopelessness! Earlier I felt this sadness come over me. The iPod thing really got to me. It made me so frustrated that I couldn't take it, and then to add ontop, the beautiful, warm day I had to spend inside a stupid Hall in a cramped chair, doing absolutely nothing. Well there are also other factors that contribute to the sadness that arose in me today, like LoW and the fact that I can't stand her and the way she views material things and social standing as a form of Greatness and that everyone needs to know that she is doing something with these people all the time(I think that this is not the right way to live, this is only my opinion so don't go ripping at me, but I found last year I was always going to parties and never resting like I should have).

I have had to, in the past, find new people to hangout with because I felt that there was to much competition from her. When it comes to relationships with people, I'm not that competitive. If I feel a threat to my existing relationship I run in the opposite direction.

Although I think about all the people I know now and actually have come to thank her. If I had not started looking for new people to hangout with in Kingston, I would never have met, Matt, Adas, Scott, Tyler, Brian, Kori, Mike ect ect the list goes on. So many awesome people and it all came from me running away from dramatic competition. Now I am trying harder to not run away anymore, More face it then anything. Some of the relationships I have made recently, I find to be very amazing, and I would have a very hard time just dropping them. So I guess it is most appropriate to thank LoW for exposing me to all these new and amazing people

Tonight I thought of the best nickname for Dallas. This is the mad science behind it

Debbie Does Dallas (porn movie) (and Dallas' name) = Triple D = TripD also referring to breast size LOL oh man if she ever reads this she will kill me. She isn't really a triple D, only a double or could only even be a D, but the mistake could easily be made (I made it)!

anyway that's enough for now.

sleep well