Everything has been happening so fast lately. I mean hearing about the college going on strike is not a good thing....Well not a good thing in the long run, but there are a few pluses to it short term-ly. I'll have more time to study and work on my portfolio which would be kinda nice, moving in wouldn't feel so rushed and i could take a little time to breath and really think about my future.
Its all coming at me so fast now, in less then 10 days i will have a NEW place, its going to be different. After two long years of living in an unorganized crazy house, I'll actually have some calm. Matching towels in the bath room. Is that my sense of clam? Am i crazy? im not sure but if anything i am pretty close.
I had a talk with Ally a couple weeks ago about what its like living with a guy. She tells me that even if you have never had PMS, you will obtain this dreadful disease once living with a man. And which i can kind of agree with her, but its not so bad at least i don't think????
I guess insecurity would be one of those things i am feeling right now, you know that voice in the back of my head saying well what if something were to go wrong, where would i go? But i feel confident enough that everything will go well. I think for the first time in my life i can let my guard down. i love Brian alot, I'd trust him with my life and the thing that makes it really weird is that he loves me back (or at least that's what he tells me) <---not meant to be taken seriously*
I always find myslef writting these things so late at night, i have urge writting.
I have been think about my grandpa alot lately, i don't think the seriousness has hit me yet, i am not sure if its the distance thing. Of all people i should know how serious it is, i see people every week with serious illness some being cancer patients. I think i just need to see him, make sure he's ok. I never thought about this part of being so far away from my family.
Well i am tired and still have a night time ritual to pull off. My lonely bed awaits me!
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Well it's definetly less than 10 days now. What is it now... 3!!!!!!!!!!
I'm bracing myself fot the 'small changes' to come to the apartment. The girly touches, office and seperate bedroom, and MY GOD (panics) you're changing around the living room. I love you too.
-Brian
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