My photo
London, Ontario, Canada
Im a nurse working at Mount Hope. Trying to make a new living taking pictures and Decorating, its coming along slowly but surely. I am in the middle of redecorating and renovating my new house. And i could use some help!

Sunday, June 26

it can't change

today i sit here thinking to my self why am i not happy. I am not happy for my own reasons. Everyone has one thing in their head that they want, its one thing that they would give everyhting else for. I have realized what mine is today, and thats why i am sad. My "thing" could be easy to obtain, very easy, but i have my specifications; like everyone else in this world we all want different things, but we all want something.

I sit and wonder if its worth it to go on living with what i don't have. That may sound selfish, but what i want i cannot buy, i can not bargin, i cannot steal. I must obtain it with patience. Here is were the problem is, i don't have patience. Well not much. my emotions are blown out of proportion very quickly. I feel, i need, and i act ! My problem.

If you wonder why i a not stating what i want, well because anyone can do that, and with that they might get what they want. But i am not going to search for it because, then it is not what i want, it shall find me. It may take my whole life, and as i lie down on my death bed i will see it reach for me and then i could die in peace, i can die knowing i am dieing for what i searched for. It may seem to you like i am crazy and that just maybe, but until i am actually stamped CRAZY. I will go on living like i am not. I am just like any other person, looking for my lost keys, cleaning my messy house, brushing my teeth, Staring at the empty bed.

Life has no meaning.

Why you ask, do i come to this assumption? Well did you get a mission card when you were borne? Cause i sure didn't. We are all here just living on this plant earth for no reason, then we die. So why do people work their whole life away doing the things that make life hell? MONEY, its all about money. Personally i wish that i didn't live here on this earth. Its so sad, everywhere you look there is sadness, people dieing.

AHHHHHHH

anyway life is meaningless, so that means nothing really matter! Where you work, what time you arrive, your name, your shoes, your pen, your watch, your ring your hair. every small thing around you doesn't matter because when you die it won't be there anymore. you work so hard just to die, why is this. Balance is the word that will make you happy.

Good ~ Evil
Hate ~ Love
Work ~ Play
Dead ~ Alive
Win ~ Lose

to much of one throws off the balance.

heres where it gets interesting. balance does not mean an even amount on both sides. Its all about the balance in proportion to you. everyone is different

The one thing that can make this meaningless stay on earth actually enjoyable Balance

Stay tuned for the balance test see what you need in your life to create balance
thought out by @

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't know if this will help you, Hill, but it may help you get some perspective on the situation.
In my last semester of high school I took only one course; Philosophy. I loved this course because
the teacher was a good friend of mine, and a very open-minded person overall. Class time was basically just
an hour and a half of discussion between herself and the students, and she rarely cared what the topic strayed to,
so long as people were still presenting valid information. One day, at the start of class, she read a very old quote from
one of her textbooks to us.

"Human beings exist only to procreate. We struggle through our lives, with our only real goal seeming to be to create another of us before we die.
We accomplish nothing in our lives, except eventually returning to the earth that gave us birth."

She then asked us, with that quote in mind, to state our reason for living. What was our reason for getting up in the morning to face this world we know we will eventually leave?

Nobody really said anything, and there was a bit of an awkward silence, but after while I put my hand up and said "To make that statement false."

I meant it then and I mean it now. Life has it's ups and downs and humans will always have to face difficult times, but throughout it all, don't forget
that there will always be friends, loved ones and the experiences you create with them to help you through those times. Happiness is the ultimate
goal - money is just a means to an end, which is pursued by those who believe they will be happy when they get it. I'm not saying money can't buy
happiness, but it can't buy true love or true friendship, and those are what truly make a person rich.

3:32 PM
~K said...

Hmm ... here's my take on this post.

We are all here for a reason, contrary to your post. Except that the reason is too big for us to grasp. On some level, we deal with the daily grind because we have to ...

Looking at the bigger picture though, we are heading for something that is bigger than we are today. You can see it happen everyday; looking in the newspaper, watching the news, being outside ... We are changing the physical world around us. Now, not looking at the environment and basically all the bad things as the moment ... The whole point of this is to help hurdle ourselves ahead.

Grab that rock hillary, go for the next one ... you'll realize that there is always one more rock, always some new attainable height ...

While it is completely necessary for some of human-kind to work jobs that they don't like, it is still helping to forward the global momentum.

Going from Zack's quote ..

"Human beings only exist to procreate. We struggle through our lives, with out only real goal of seeming to be to create another of us before we die."

Our purpose is therefore two-fold, propel the momentum forward and leave behind those that can continue long after we are gone.

There are those of us out there, the inward-thinkers, who ask the right questions. We are the ones who notice the right moments, take the right risks, do the right things ...

With respect to the meaning of it all ..

It's hard for some of us who think that we feel useless and worthless in something so big that anything we do is just moot. Especially for those of us who's parents have consistantly told us that we are no-good, just a drain on them, their hapiness, their money, and their patience.

It's a good thing that our parents were wrong. You cannot be classified as useless, because you aren't REALLY suppost to have to make yourself useful. Look at the world around you ... What is the use of a tree? A tree has many USES, but it is not trying to be useful. There is the difference. The tree is just doing what it wants (assumption) and in the process of doing what it wants, it does it's job in the natural order of things.

The only way you are ever going to do an ounce of good in the world is to do what you want. There is a reason why we all have that goal, the thing we are meant to do, because it's natural.

How, you may ask, does doing what you like do any good? Look around you .. Look at the people who seem to be trying very hard to be useful. Are they really doing good things for people? No, all they do is make everyone around them miserable ...

The people who really do others some good are the people who are doing what they like and who aren't very interested in being useful. They are usually really interesting to be around, because they are doing things that interest them. They are often fun to be around, because they appreciate fun and know hoe to laugh and not take anything too seriously. They inspire other people to figure out what it is that they want to do by example, thus causing more people to be interested in life and interesting to be around.

Out of all the people we meet in life, these people (who are doing their own thing) are the people who habve the most profoundly positive impact on us and thus make our lives richer in the most fundamental and meaningful ways. Can you really call that useless?

Balance, as you've talked about, also plays a big role in all this. In the last example, you can see that there are two kinds of people .. those who are useful, and those who are effected by the first group. You cannot have one with out the other. You can see balance all over the place:

science -> An action will have an equal and opposite reaction.

art ...

religion ...

history ...

music ...

everything. Everything is effected by balance. And that is only looking at this planet in a very superficial way ... stepping outside the box, look at nature, look at the planet, look further and further. Look as far as you need to, and you will always see balance. You don't have to look far either, look inwards .. you can see balance there as well. Body, mind, soul ... these things need balance as well.

Thanks for reading this.

5:36 AM

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)